My last post I was a bit dismissive of the lunacy and I was just taking the pills to be on the safe side. I’ve had a rough ride since then. It has been bloody awful. So stressed that I’m shaking at work. I’ve been feeling so bad I just want to stay in bed, preferably asleep, all day. It’s the only time I’ve felt relaxed. I am so glad they gave me the pills. 3 weeks and I should be straight again. That’s 9 days more. Work is the worst time for it, so call it 6 more work days and I should be sane.
I’ve not done anything except work, walk to the shop, and sit at home. No runs, not worked on my Harley, I have let a local (10 miles away) bike that I had my eye on get sold without even contacting them. I couldn’t face calling them, going to see it, collecting it, anything. This evening feels like the first sane and relaxed patch for ages.
It has been bad.
I’m basically writing December off and starting again in January.
It’s weird to have zero motivation or drive. Normally I use one obsession to distract from another. A day off work where I’ve not ticked off a bunch of boxes on my to-do list seems like a waste of a day. Now I don’t want to do shit and I am not in the slightest restless or regretful having done nothing.
Ah well. Get sane. Start again.