Author: Buck

I’m trying to think what exciting things have happened in my sabbatical. Well, last week I had a bump at Iceland. That was an utter downer. Some berk parked his van just where I needed to put my cab for the reverse. I had to swing the trailer around one building and between it and another. Because it was a roof top delivery they also had 2 feet tall barriers to protect the buildings. Rather than ask the van driver to move (which, in retrospect is what I should have done) I screwed the trailer in really tight. Unfortunately I lost side of the barrier on the blind side and caught it with the mudguard of the unit. Balls. I think that’s my Iceland driving finished. It’s one of those situations where you are just looking at the hanging off mudguard and kicking yourself. Not a thing you can do about it. Balls, balls, balls. That was supposed to be a quick shift last Saturday. With waiting for the mechanic and the bodge fix it turned into nearly 13 hours. The long and short of which is I didn’t get to run last weekend.   The weekend before I did the first 10 mile lap, then one lap of the 14 mile route then it rained on me and I lost my mojo. I’d gone at it too hard and fast (about 3½ hour marathon pace) and crashed suddenly. Plus the new energy powder I got at nearly half the price of my usual has the unfortunate side effect of knocking you sick. This is doubly bad as it gives you an aversion to drinking it, hence a failure to hydrate. Also, with the training as I’m doing it, the laps start and finish at home. This means you need massive mental strength to force yourself back out the door when you are already in a bad state. However, after that pitiful 24 mile effort I resolved to do it right next time.   Today was next time. I set my sites on the full 50 miles. Ambitious, as it would only be my second run over marathon length, but as one of the mantras states; “You are the only person who can say you can’t do it. And you don’t have to listen”. So off I jolly well trotted. I did an 8 mile lap, then I planned to do the 14 mile lap thrice. I’ve ordered some trail running trainers with a goretex top, supposed to be waterproof. They haven’t arrived yet though. So obviously it poured down and there were loads of puddles. My trainers were soaked after the first 14 mile lap so my feet were rapidly ruined. The rest of me was soaked as well, but that’s not too much of a problem in warm weather. I managed 2 laps but I just couldn’t face sloshing my way back along the canal path again. At the point where the path turns off to our house […]

Hot. Damn hot. Hotter than a snake’s ass in a wagon rut. To be honest I think the BBC’s weather reporting is getting a bit too informal. It has been beastly. Mainly due to the garage pissing me about so I’ve been riding to work every day in this damnable heat. Not that I wouldn’t have anyway. Committed triathlete and all. *coughs* The insurance people and the garage’s own telephone crew said “it could be as long as 5 days.” That was 19 days ago. They say the replacement panels they were sent were damaged so had to re-order them. Then when they came to fit them they noticed the front panel was damaged as well so they’ve had to order that. Now they are saying they should have it done for Monday, so I’ll be able to pick it up Tuesday. Bah. To be honest it’s just the weekly big shop that has been the problem. Riding to work is what I’m supposed to do. I’ve not been able to give Wendy a lift in of a morning, but that just means I get more of a lie-in, so her loss is my gain. And my training’s loss. Lie-ins mean I’ve no time to train before work. Talking of which, I read a forum on Runners World about who was up for next year’s Outlaw. I read a few pages and got a bit irritated with the preachy attitudes. Noobs, you’ve got to be able to ride X miles in Y hours and swim like a dolphin or you can’t do it. I commented that I’d done one ride over 60 miles, less than 20 swims in 2 years and had buggered my run fitness with an injury for several months before this year’s Outlaw, finishing in 14.09. “If you are a bit stubborn and eat at every feed station you can do it.” I thought this was an encouragement to the newbs, if a fat old useless duffer like me can do it, anyone can. What I failed to consider was some of the people on there had trained really hard and only just scraped a finish and some were DNF. Oops. My well meaning post was perceived as saying they were all shite. As you can imagine, this generated some comments. I later backtracked. As that was my second a basic level of fitness was enough to get me through. The first year was tough going from my first half marathon to my first Outlaw in 9 months. But I did it. So what was that? Just over a year to go from coach tatty to Outlaw.  Of course it was hard, it’s meant to be. Grit your teeth, man-up and do it. Which brings me neatly to today. I thought that 50 mile run was in about 4 weeks and I’ve not done any distance training. So I strapped on my trainers, loaded up my bag, found a 38 mile run route and set off. It […]

We’ve done the Outlaw. No-one wants to hear about that any more. That would be very boring. However, I will say in passing that it was so bad on the day I was thinking that was my last triathlon. Until I got that statistic that once I finished the swim I managed to overtake over 200 men. (That was how the statistics were presented, ‘men’s race’. I’m not trying to fudge the figures or discount the women, shitloads of them kicked my sorry arse.) That is incredible. If I took swim lessons I could be a contender. I’m up for it again now. Here’s some snaps and we’ll move on, saying no more about it. Pushing it out for the finish. Every inch exist in miles. And over the line, unaware I was being photographed; Do. They. Ever! As I said on Twitter, “This is what it’s all about: “You can talk of personal growth and aims, but really it’s all about wearing a T-shirt that says ‘I am awesome, bow before me’”   This week I’ve been back to training, perforce, as the garage have my car. I did the first two days in this beastly heat on the bike, nearly 22 miles a day commute, flat out in top gear and lost 2lb! Bonus. As I’m thinking of kicking some triathlon arse next year I’m trying to heat acclimatise myself. If you can race in this you can blitz a cool day. So I bought a hat, donned my gallon of water holding bag and set off this afternoon. Goddamn! It’s a great idea but heat kills me stone dead. Still, keep at it. Check the hat with the neck curtain thingy: As one of my Twitter chums noted, Beau Buck! I was getting strange looks on my run today, with my hat and backpack with the water bottles and such. People obviously thinking I was taking the bit of sunshine too seriously as they were running in just shorts. It’s heat conditioning, dammit. And it killed me. What else? Not a lot. Sleep, train, work. I did make a resolution to avoid the A30 in Cornwall when I do my LEJOG (Land’s End- John O’Groats) as two Scottish riders were killed this week shortly after starting a LEJOG.. They’d only been riding a few hours  when they got twatted by a HGV. Dead as Betamax, just like that. Lorry drivers! They’re all arseholes.   Anyway, on to more fun stuff, namely the wonderful world of Twitter. Again I’ve been a tad busy so I’ve not been on that much. But I have two weeks of it. Here goes; The DMreporter had: SNOOPING: Cameron tackles President Obama over claims the US spied on Britain – “it’s cool, I don’t mind, we’re still friends right…?” BONKERS: EU ruling to reduce mobile roaming charges ‘threatens UK companies profits, lowers tax payments and takes away orphanage funding.’ DISGUSTING: Fury as radical feminists undermine Andy Murray’s Wimbledon victory by claiming a WOMAN […]

Well that was fun. In no way, shape or form. As last time I stayed in a hotel and only got a few hours sleep due to the bar and the loud drunks at throwing out time, this time I had a plan. Nip to Nottingham, register and drop my bike and kit off, come home, sleep in the day then drive back fresh as a daisy for the start. Due to the bloody heatwave the A50 was rammed with all the families going to Alton Towers, so that screwed me up. I skipped the ‘mandatory’ race briefing, (yadda yadda, don’t get killed, yadda yadda,) and tried to come home the long way around, up the M1 to Leeds then across the M62. As it was a new route for me I was having issues with lanes in Nottingham. I was in the outside lane of two when someone in front of me stopped to turn right. I checked my mirror, saw a gap and darted to the inside lane. I hadn’t checked my blind spot. BANG! Someone was undertaking me. Oops. That’ll be a new wing for me, please. And two doors for you. Balls. When I got back I realised I had 10 hours before I had to get up so I did some last minute sorting of kit. Then I had an hour and a half in bed, but woke up again. I couldn’t get back to sleep but I wasn’t worried, I’d still be able to get some kip when it got to night time. Then next door came back with a bunch of her coke-head mates to celebrate the heatwave. Ace. So I ended up grabbing another hour about 0130, then I had to get up at 0230 and get on the road for 0300. I was a bit tired to start with. We started at 0600, I took this snap on the way on to the site, sunrise over the Outlaw lake: Not a bad snap from a camera ‘phone, I think. But look at that evil yellow bastard. You can tell what’s in store. Look at this: http://www.racetimingsystems.net/Results/IndividualResult.aspx?Id=673559&Round=2306&Page=1&Search=956&Theme=[f7941e] Astonishingly, after the swim (the weakest of my three weak disciplines) I made up 200 places on the ride and run! Gobsmacked. I’ve just this minute found that out. *chuffed face* Anyway, the swim was just a matter of getting my head down and doing it. Then came the transition, I jogged out of the lake, very conscious of the fat, shell-shocked geezer I’d seen wobbling out of the lake on my last video. I was feeling alright. Last time we weren’t allowed to get naked in the changing tent as there were female assistants about, so I swam with my tri-suit under my wetsuit, took my wetsuit off put my cycling shorts on (on top of my soaked tri-suit) then set off for the ride. Had I of attended the race briefing I would have know you could get properly changed this year. I […]

The countdown to the Outlaw is all that’s on my mind now. This time next week it’ll all be over but the blubbing like a little girl. Oh dear, oh dear. The confidence boost of the swim and ride on Monday has evaporated. Now I’m back to wondering if I can do it. Yes, I can. But how bad is it going to be? Squeaky bum time. If you want to have a nosey at my progress through the day, the race starts at 0600 and you can track it all day here: http://www.onestepbeyond.org.uk/the-outlaw-triathlon-live-results.php I won’t be getting out of the lake until gone 0730 so no updates until then. I’m number 956. Possibly putting ‘fat geezer at the back’ in the search box would work as well. They are showing bits of it on the telly at some point, I’ll look out for that. Though saying that, the video of me last time looked like a sad old git wondering what the hell had hit him. Very accurate, actually.   As I had last Monday off to do my training I worked at Iceland yesterday to make up my hours. Some ridiculously tough driving. And as I’m used to triple axle trailers those twin axle ones catch me out every time. They turn in so fast. You set up a perfect line, turn in, glance in your mirror and your back end is heading straight for some railings. Spooks the hell out of you, I can tell you. By the end of the shift I was a nervous wreck, it shatters your confidence when you have no idea what the trailer is going to do. Still, I got through some hideously tight spots unscathed. If I was driving them all the time I wouldn’t even notice.   About the only other thing of note was having finished the utterly brilliant Hannibal on telly I was moved to re-read the books. I got Red Dragon and Silence of the Lambs for 1p (£2.80 P&P). I remembered the books as being a bit ‘meh’, but I thought it would fill the time. Wow, I was sat here for an hour today busting for a pee but just had to read the next bit, and the next bit. Excellent. Also it makes you appreciate how faithfully they have kept to the books in the series. Lines of dialogue, situations, characters, all expertly realised.   Anyway, the main reason I’m posting is to keep you abreast of Twitter, I’ve not got much to say this week. So, without further ado;   DMreporter had: This week’s Daily Mail Cancer List: Mon) The Euro Tue) Salami Wed) Vacuuming Thu) Corduroy Fri) Empathy Sat) Iran Sun) Your own hands SPECIAL INVESTIGATION: Fury as bailed out bankers at taxpayer owned RBS feast on dodo steaks and the hearts of virgins at Wimbledon. PETER HITCHENS: “The Girl Guides pledge to God was our last defence against the rise of a fascistic army of robotic Hitlers.” CAMERON: “It was […]