Author: Buck

I’m sat here replete with Chinese and pants undone. Sorry for that mental image. My guts are actually uncomfortable I’m getting that fat again. Sounds like someone is firing off a shotgun. That’s outside, not my guts. Just thought I’d live blog it in case it turns out to be a bunch of murders. Anyway, assuming some mofo doesn’t pop a cap in my ass in the badass ghetto that is Great Sankey, I’ll carry on moaning about my fatitude. Not good. After the diesel drenching and consequent clothes binning last week I went and bought some more trousers. I’d lost a lot of weight so I bought 32”, thinking that would be comfortably slack for the driving. They were well tight, and that’s the “Of course you’re a 32, and a svelte one at that” lying-to-your-face Asda size 32. Oh dear. So that means I’m bulging out of a pair of 34” trousers. Like the Stay-Puff dough boy in Ghostbusters. If he’d been wearing trousers. That were too small for his doughy lardarse. Not the best of similes. About the diesel thing, a chum on twitter said I should have dried them out and seen how they burned instead of binning them, she said it was her first thought. I replied my first thoughts were “Gosh darn it!” and “Hmm, what’s that heady perfume so redolent of carcinogens?” But back to the lard; Must. Stop. Pigging! To add to the dilemma, that running backpack/ water bottle/bladder holder is a designed to be a snug fit. It has to be as movement is what causes friction and thus webbing burns. Nobody wants webbing burns. Your skin gets rubbed off at the same time as you get bruised from the bouncing action. The worst part is getting it on the small of your back. You think you are just stiff and bruised because you can’t see it. And then you get in the shower. That is an experience you never forget. Anyway, snug. So they have a fitting chart of height and weight. If I’m going to be running the distances I’m after I’ll be quite lean, so I want a medium pack for my height. Unfortunately I’m currently lardy (nearly a stone and a half overweight) which puts me firmly in the large category. If I buy a large it won’t fit me by the time it comes to the race, if I wait until it fits me I won’t be used to running in a pack. Also, the (Outlaw) race is 13 weeks tomorrow (Sunday 07.04.) so again with the ‘no pressure’.   In other news, Little Cat has been turning her smelly little nose up at her food lately. Then she started trying to eat then making whining sounds and leaving it. Wendy got worried so she took her to the vets. You’ll remember this is a stray that used to sit on our windowsill and beg food. Not a cat we got. One that imposed its rank, […]

Work has sorted itself out in no time. I’ve done two weeks without being cancelled and the hours are plenty long enough. I was running up to Aspatria, top of the Lake District, doing an awkward trailer swap then running back to Crewe, trailer swap, back to Irlam. Now Aspatria have set aside a really easy drop point for my trailer. No reversing, nothing in the way, just drive in, stop and drop. Cool. Obviously the karmic balance is upset by that so to compensate Crewe are getting rid of the night shunter. This means there will be no empty trailers for me to swap with, so I have to wait an hour or so while they live tip me. Ace. The consequence of that is I’m on a regular 50+ hour week. Ho hum. It pays the bills. I thought I was getting the long weekend end off. The security guard said the (Sealy beds) factory was shut for the Bank Holidays. Yay! Then work told me they were leaving two trailers loaded for me to pick up, the security guard would let me in.   🙁 Bummer. Pays the bills, pays the bills. Screw the bills, I wanted a long weekend. Grrrr. Also I had fun times at work. They wanted me to run one pallet to a drop in the centre of Manchester, in an artic, “on your way”. Ace. I got ten minutes down the road, pulled up the slip road to the M60 (the Manchester ring road) in rush hour and broke down. Oops. So not good. I was stranded there an hour with no drive. If I tried to put it in gear it just rolled backwards. In the end they had to send a huge tow truck to tow the unit and trailer back to base. Then on Thursday morning I was filling up with diesel, as you do at the end of every shift. The thing with truck diesel pumps is they have a catch on the trigger so you can click it on and leave it to fill up. You don’t have to keep pressing the trigger, it just cuts out when it’s full. Usually you wait until it clicks off, then lift the nozzle to fill the last bit pressing the trigger. On this occasion I could tell it was nearly full so I lifted the nozzle before it had clicked off. Which caused it to spray back all over me. I stunk. Not to mention the carcinogenic qualities of diesel. I put all my clothes in a bag outside the back door when I got in. I tried to soak them for an hour today and have just put them through the longest boil wash on the machine. They still stink. The whole lot has gone in the bin. Ace. Now having to boil wash an empty machine to try to get rid of the smell.   The mixed blessing continue with my ‘phone. The new, twice as powerful, battery […]

You know the running battle I’ve been having with ‘phone and it’s dying on me? It has been instructive in many things. I’ve upgraded the O.S., ironed out a glitch with my Gmail, and worked out how to ‘sideload’ Adblocker again. The latter not being as impressive as it sounds. Apparently to sideload is just to enable downloading and installing from the original site, not from the approved google apps store. Anyway, before I went in and wiped everything, again, I tried googling the problem. The first hit, top of the page, said “if you’ve used a non-standard charger swelling may have occurred in the battery”. I had a look, my battery is no longer flat, it’s now sort of elliptical. Oh. Oops. It could be as simple as that. I hope so as I ordered a new battery on the 4th, (still not arrived).   In other news work seems to have sorted itself out. The new/ old run to Aspatria is as I thought. It’s about 9 hours 15 minutes, to 9½ hours (paid, that is. Another 45 minutes for break). I wasn’t cancelled on any days this week. That’s a good sign. Perhaps that’s the way it will stay.  The run through Cumbria on Friday was a white knuckle affair. It was blowing a gale, so going up with an empty trailer I was worried I was going to get blown over. Then the snow started really coming down. It wasn’t so much that it was landing on the motorway, that was getting crushed by the traffic, it was the wind was so strong it was blowing whole layers off the embankments. That chucked thick blankets of snow across two lanes and blew up a snow storm. I got down from the hills and back into Cheshire and relaxed, only to pass an artic that had somehow turned around and was driven up the embankment at a 20 to 2 position. I don’t know how. it wasn’t jacknifed or pointing forward, it was straight as though it had driven head on to the traffic then pulled off. That was a nasty surprise. I didn’t want to be that guy.     Also this week I’ve had a dose of man flu. It started on Wednesday night, I just came over all weak. I’ve been dosing myself up with paracetamol and ibuprofen and I seem to be alright with it. Each morning I wake up and think it’s gone, then after an hour or so I feel lousy again. Buggery bugger. So I’ve still not started my training in earnest. Not that this weather helps.   That diet of which I spoke a few weeks back lasted all of four days. Then, in a moment of weakness I had a Mars bar. More accurately, I had three Mars bars. The first was so good I couldn’t help myself. The only reason I didn’t eat more was because that was all the money I had on me. #fail Which […]

Two weeks ago I was whining because it was all work and trying to get a little sleep and that was all. Then last week I went in on the Thursday, as they were sacking all the full timers, and should have been cancelled but accidentally screwed some lad out of his shift. Friday I was cancelled. Great. Feet up, long weekend. Then Monday. Getting nervous. Tuesday and Wednesday. A full week I should have been cancelled. Oh dear, oh dear. I was really getting worried. I mean, the very day they sacked the full timers it all started. I was wondering if they’d got the remaining full timers to cover my shift and I was a gonner. Then I got a text saying I was back in Thursday and Friday, doing a run to Glasgow. Not my usual, but easy enough. A two day week wouldn’t pay the bills though. I asked about it when I went in. Apparently I’m back to five days next week on a different run again. I’m to take an empty trailer up to Aspatria in the Lake District (turn off at Carlisle, spitting distance from the Scottish border) do a trailer swap then run back with a load to Crewe, get tipped (unloaded) or do a trailer swap there, then back to Irlam. Not too bad. I’ve done the run before, when I was a lot crapper, and managed OK then. It’s should be better for me. It’ll be about a 10 or 11 hour shift, starting at 1500hrs, which means I should be able to get enough kip to train and have a bit of a life. The worry about that is, if I only get 10 hours (9 hours 15 minutes paid) per shift, then it’s going to be piss poor if I lose one shift a week. Perhaps, now they’ve sacked the full timers, they won’t be giving my run to other people. Perhaps they won’t have the people to whom they can give it. We’ll see.   In other news, I know you were all growing weary of my piffling achievements in running. “A mere hill marathon? Pfft!” I heard you mutter. So I’ve upped the ante. A 50 mile race! Who’s with me? *tumbleweed* Oh. It’s in September, so plenty of time to prepare/ stick pencils up my nose and say “wibble.” Here’s the website.  http://www.enduranceevents.co.uk/ladybower-50/ It’s worth clicking that link just to remind yourself what dial-up was like. A picture appearing line by line. Hilarious. Anyway, £31.50, who could resist? *looks around* Oh, everyone. It’s a 5 mile loop, then three 15 mile circuits of a reservoir. There’s a 13 hour cut off. I’m thinking 10 hours maximum. That’s with the slowing of pace required for the distance, and the fact you have to carry your own supplies; water, gels, coat, crash helmet for the scooter I’m hiring, etc. I was commenting on the Bolton Hill Marathon on Runners World website and had a look at future […]

Holy crap, that was tough! Think of a tough thing, then times it by several orders of sadism and you are in the ball park. First off it was goddamn freezing. Apparently the wind chill had it at –3C. I thought it was colder. The wind was howling a gale on the hill tops, the telephone wires were bowed horizontally instead of vertically. Literally. I’ve never been able to wear even a really thin running baseball cap on a run. After a mile I’m always too damn hot. This run I was wearing a cycling thinsulate bob-hat for all but the few miles we were below the snowline. My hands felt like I’d been been snowball fighting; the pain of getting cold then the misery of returning circulation, and repeat. Then there was the course which perversely managed to remain deeply muddy. I lost my footing and fell over twice, and turned my ankle once. Luckily, after the initial pain, I was able to continue running. I was worried as it happened. Finally, there was that killer hill at 21-23 miles. So, so bad. Your legs are shot, foot sore, willpower flagging then you are faced with that.   So, all in all, quite a fun marathon.   I was hoping for 4 hour time, but came in at about 4.15 Given all of the above I was OK with that. The main thing by then was just finishing, and I managed a good, strong finish.   I missed Kung Fu this afternoon though. By the time I’d got home and had a shower I should have been going out the door to my class. I had to eat before I did anything else, so the Wing Chun had to wait. Then I had an hour’s kip. That’s how much it took out of me. Lightweight.   …(Monday) Here’s a picture. It’s when we were below the snowline and I’d taken off my hat. I’ve just zoomed in and was surprised to see I was sweating. I was that bloody cold I didn’t think I’d got a sweat on the whole race. There was another set of pictures as we were running through the snow over the top of the hill but I had a right gawpy expression on. Probably trying to get my breath back after the ascent and concentrating on not falling over or dying of hypothermia.   The stat’s are up on the site. I finished 34th out of 212 entrants, 150 finishers. I don’t know how many of the missing 62 didn’t start (too sensible to get out of bed in that weather) or were outside of the 8 hours cut off, or gave up/ got injured. My time was 4.14:49, about what I thought.  The best time was 3.22:34, which shows how tough it was, the first place at last year’s Chester marathon was a 2.28:46, so roughly an hour slower. Which makes my time a lot less shameful. They said on the website to […]