Category: Life

  • Tight.

    You know how I’ve said before that the parking space for trailers at work used to fit eleven trailers and now they’ve decided we have to squeeze fourteen in the same space? I moaned that it was a tight fit, but because of the time I was getting back it was always too dark dark to take a decent picture on my ‘phone. Now I have the snaps. It would have been bad enough if it had been a straight reverse, but there was a car parked in the way that I had to swing around and then try and straighten it up. Anywho, here’s the view from the cab.

    Drivers side: (Look at the gap in the mirror! You’ll note it’s that tight the unit next to me had to have it’s mirror tucked in)

    Tight 3

    Look (in the mirror) at the view I have of the amount of space on the blind side:

    Tight 2

    That sliver between red and blue is the totality of the gap. Try doing that at night when your job depends on it.

    And finally the view from outside the cab, not quite as tight, but look between those trailers. I couldn’t squeeze between them, and like I said the wing mirror had to be tucked in or I’d have hit it. To put it in perspective, I couldn’t open the drivers door, I had to climb out of the passenger side.

    Tight.

    Anyway, that is what I have to look forward to on a nightly basis. I took these photo’s because I’d got back early and it was broad daylight. Almost too easy when you can actually see where you’re going. Feels like cheating.

     

    I have totally mastered the blind side reverse now. Not just on that one specific bay, but I’ve had to apply the same technique in other situations and it works as well. Sorted.

     

    Which leads me to my next announcement; as soon as we get back from our week at Craggy Island I’m re-applying for that Igloo-Hermes job. I can do the driving well enough, I’ve learned the value of slowing down for junctions due to the crap stacking of my loads and now know to turn the cab to the left on blind junctions so I can see both sets of traffic. Also I’ve had quite a few shifts driving units with manual gearboxes. The only other things he picked me up was being nervous (I was a wreck! I’m fairly confident now. I’d still be a bit nervous on an assessment, but only normal nerves.) and not knowing where anywhere is. That hasn’t changed, unfortunately. I have maps, a satnav, and navigation and googlemaps on my ‘phone. I can get there.

    They have been advertising for drivers but I don’t want to apply until after our week away. Partly because I’m a big girl’s blouse and am scared, but also because it seems daft just before holidays. And they said they’d start me at three days a week and get me up to full time within a week or two. I need as much money as I can get before the jollies.

     

    I’ve managed to squeeze in half an hour’s practice on the soprano whilst waiting to be loaded a few times this week. The top three or four notes are only audible to dogs I reckon. I’ve had to put a really stiff reed on just to get them. It was just squawking on the easier to blow reed. The downside being it’s like trying to whistle through an oak beam. The inverse effect of sucking a slurry drink through a straw. Cheeks bulging like a bull-frog. The embouchure control needed is extraordinary. It’s taking me a few goes just to get some of the notes. Hopefully my muscles will tone and the reed will blow in.

    The other thing with work is my wages; I was well ripped last week, paid for forty hours instead of forty six and a half. When I emailed them they said it was because they had only paid me for forty hours. They hadn’t done a proper wage thing because they were swanning off for Queeny’s Bank Holiday. Alright for some. They made it up this week. Fine and dandy, but you’d think it would be common courtesy to inform a chap first.

     

    This week saw the end of another era; I’ve finally got someone to come and take the mighty Micra to the Nissan Nirvana in the sky. £80. Mustn’t grumble.

    There was an advert in the Warrington Guardian “We scrap any vehicle. Min £170.”  I rang them and they  asked what I wanted for it, I referred to the advert he said “Ooh, small car. You’ll not get that for it” What part of ‘minimum’ is confusing you, tit?  Then to add insult to injury, they didn’t even ring me back. Twice!

    I rang someone else in Warrington and he offered me £40. I said I’d been offered £100. He said he’d got loads of cars at the moment, normally he’d offer me £150!

    So £80 is fair to middling. The thing is, I’ve just received the road tax reminder so it had to go.

     

    I’m still on the diet. I think I was being a bit too literal with the eat-as-much-as-you-like premise of the diet. I’m trying it as an eat-enough diet now. Not hungry but not trying to eat a whole cow in one go. The good news being that I continue to lose weight, the bad being that it has slowed right down. We’ll see how this new approach to it goes. 

    I was weakening on Friday, but as I was plotting a chippy tea (Chips and Chinese gravy with bread and butter. *drools*) a driver waddled past. You could always tell the drivers when I was at DHL, the warehouse lads were skinny to chubby, the drivers were skinny to American. It was the case that not all the drivers were massively fat, but all the massively fat people were drivers.

     

    Also, when I get back of holiday and have my new job (early starts, possibility of early finishes, ie time to train in the evening) I’m going to buy my place in next year’s Ironman Bolton. That’ll scare the bejeezus out of me enough to train hard again! Also, if I do the brand name event I won’t have to say “well, it was an Ironman distance triathlon, not the real thing” and have people scorn me in the street. I don’t fancy training too hard at the minute. No sugar or words ending in  ‘-ose’  (glucose, fructose, lactose, etc) means no energy gels means an hour and a half maximum. Then it’s flop on the floor. Well, you feel like flopping, anyway. Really foul feeling. You have absolutely nothing left to give, you feel too weak to even stand. Nasty.

    Anyway, that’s life at the moment.

     

    Better days ahead.

    Later,

    Buck.

  • Achilles and the tortoise.

    That has been our situation with debt. Achilles is a faster runner than the tortoise, but, if time is divisible, by the time he gets to where the tortoise was it will have moved. He moves forward, the tortoise moves forward. Achilles can never catch the slow but indefatigable tortoise. 

    Unlike philosophers we put a rock on the tortoise and watch it flail helplessly in the sun. Hmm, tortoise soup.

    Where was I? Obviously still dieting, if a philosophical paradox/ debt metaphor can be turned into a soup reverie.

    Anyway, the debt thing. We are finally getting on top! Huzzah!

    Wendy used to save, then she met me and we drank our way into constant debt. It’s only since we gave up that it started to come down. I mean, I put £5K on a credit card to do all my truck licenses. The thing is, like that over-used tortoise metaphor, as soon as we raced toward it the wily bugger would move away. Before xmas we’d got it down from about £10K to a grand or so, then there was the clarinet (fail) and the piano. (There was a solid reason for buying them, not just ‘cos we could. Mostly not just ‘cos we could.) We started to pay that back then I had no work for two months. I get work again and the car dies. Had to get a different car. Then the cooker kiffed it.

    You know how it is. Also there’s my laissez faire attitude to cash. That doesn’t help. (My soprano sax was a steal at the price. It more or less paid for itself. Somehow. Don’t look at me like that!)

    As I was saying, before all the accusations, we are getting there. Last month, seeing as we won’t be lending Luke his bond money on flat any time soon, we stuck £666 (I just liked the number) on the card. This means we have finally broken the grand barrier!

    Were it not for the fact we have a week’s holiday booked at sunny Craggy Island next month we could conceivably have been debt free this month. Oh wily tortoise, you tease us with your slow sprint.

    Of course, this is never the case. I have a year’s worth of tax to pay yet. I don’t get a bill for that until next March or April, but it’s still out there, undefined but ominous.

     

    In diet news: a pox on the house of Oliver! Yes, you, Jamie, you mockney scamp. That veggie curry I made, and the equally delicious veggie chilli the day after, put a pound on me that didn’t move for three days. Gutted. DAMN YOU OLIVER! *shakes fist*

     

    Luke and I (OK, mainly Luke) have spent the weekend ‘rooting’ my ‘phone. Which is to say, breaking into the locked base code for the ‘phone to gain control. Once you have control you can install a fancy-pants new software package and delete all the crap. Done. Yeah, I’m so cool it hurts. When you think we didn’t even have house ‘phone a few years back, now I’ve got a ‘phone that can do video chat, surf the web, and watch live telly. “Huh, 2012, no flying cars, scientists?” Look at what you’ve got in a ‘phone. Amazing. We didn’t even have videos when I was a kid, now I can watch telly on demand, through my ‘phone! Oh,and talk to people.

     

    The other epic news is: I HAVE MASTERED THE BLIND-SIDE REVERSE! Hell, yes!

    It took a small accident (an accident!) to make it happen but now I possess the secret. TO LIFE. ITSELF!

    Turns out it was simple all along. I was trying to reverse with the trailer already bent away from the cab. If at the end of the setting-up manoeuvre you turn your cab the opposite way you are straight with the trailer and can back it straight in. It’s that simple. You still have to turn it in, but when it’s straight you can see the turning point. What a fool I’ve been!

     

    So things are pretty peachy. Apart from the agency underpaying me. Again.I’ve sent them an email. When we come back off our jolly hols I’m applying for that igloo job. Twice as much money. The man who can blind-side fears no assessment!

    To my pit, busy day tomorrow.

    Later,

    Buck.

    PS look at this for sublime:

    11.06.12: Martin Rowson on George Osborne's comments about the UK economy and the eurozone crisis

     

    That’s George Osborne and Judas Clegg. Double-dip-Dave must be sobbing at that.

  • Diet!

    That is my main news for the week. Bloody diet.

    It’s a two phase thing. The first five days you flush out all the old crap from your body, then start on phase two. The good thing is you can eat as much as you like of the allowed items, so you are never really hungry. The bad bit is you are really restricted on carbs the first week. No spuds, pasta, small amounts of parsnip and carrot, no milk (apparently a surprising amount of carbs in milk, who new?) 50g of brown rice a day, or porridge but no bread. And no sugar, or prepared food. Worst of all no caffeine! Cue the three day splitting headache and milder ones since.

    You can have eggs and bacon by the bucketful for breakfast, cooked in butter and still lose weight. But no bread, or beans.

    It’s called the Harcombe diet. It diets with the body rather than fighting it. So instead of starving yourself so your body tries to turn every calorie it gets hold off into fat for the famine it thinks it’s in, it just makes your body use your stored fat whilst not storing any.

    Anyway, six days, not hungry (eating like a pig most of the time) and I’ve lost seven pounds. Mustn’t grumble. I can eat stuff now. I just can’t mix carbs (root veg, bread, pasta) with fat’s (“if it’s got a face, or comes from something that’s got a face it’s a fat”). Protein is in everything so you can forget about that category. 

    So today I made me and Wendy a lush vegetarian curry (Jamie Oliver’s recipe here: http://www.jamieshomecookingskills.com/recipe.php?title=thai-green-vegetable-curry ) for dinner and Wendy made us roast chicken for tea (I had broccoli and mange tout with mine). You’ve got to say, apart from the headaches, it’s an awesome diet.

    By the way, I really do recommend that curry. I’ve gone right off them the last couple of years. The Pattaks paste curry you can make is just wrong. And this one has coconut milk in. I hate coconut milk curries, all creamy and sickly. Not a bit of it. It really was a surprise how nice it was. Not mad hot, or sickly, or dry and paste-y, just really tasty and light.

    Kudos to the Jamester.

     

    You can tell I’m on a diet, babbling on, extolling the virtues of food.

     

    In other news I’ve been a bit concerned about my soprano sax. I was having real trouble with a few of the notes and I was getting nervous the bastards had sold me a dud. Turns out our wonderful Chinese comrades-in-arms had done a sterling job on a tight budget and it was just the bad workman blaming his tools.

    I found this out after I heard an old 80’s power ballad on the radio the other day. I quite liked it in it’s pop/rock way; Hazel O’Connor, ‘Will You’ (http://youtu.be/NJSqcvAQ8l8) what blew me away was the sax in it. I never noticed before. Beautiful. I think it’s an alto. So I went online and downloaded the sheet music for free off the geezer who played it, Wesley Magoogan. (The link for the download is at the bottom of this page : http://www.hazeloconnor.net/wesleymagoogan/wesleymagoogan.html Flo Brant, take note.)

    Anyway, armed with some new music and a burning desire to have a go I brought out the big guns. The tenor  sounded too bass-y though so I cracked open the soprano. Joy! After playing the tenor I seemed to be able to find the right embouchure for the soprano and it worked! Didn’t sound an awful lot like the song, but at least I was hitting constant notes. Which is to say the sax works, it’s just me that’s crap. That’s a relief.

     

    Work is the same as ever. Which is good. Routine is what I crave still. Unfortunately I’m working this Monday and Tuesday, so no long jubilee weekend for poor me. Still, if I don’t work I don’t get paid so I’m not too upset.

     

    That rip-off with Luke to which I alluded in my last blog is a bugger. They wanted £130 off him on some nebulous, if not spurious pretence. Something about checking his background. Then another £50 to do a credit check (they are free, and what was the background check, then?)  They didn’t like his credit history so they wanted a guarantor. We said we’d do it. Has to be a mortgage owner. Gail (Wendy’s sister) said she’d do it. Have to get proof that their is equity in the house (it’s not in negative equity). Got that. Still nothing. £180 for messing him, and everyone he knows, about for a few weeks. What a racket. No pad, £180 down the swanny, and stressed out for a couple of weeks. Bastards.

     

    By the way, just watched Evil Dead II. What was I on? I remembered that as being a witty comedy/ horror. Sobriety does strange things to a chap. Like make him sit there gawping at just how bad a film he’s watching. The special effects were out of the ark. The acting is terrible. The plot is dreadful. OK, it was still fun and had a few really cool moments, but bloody hell it was hard viewing. A fond memory dragged into the harsh light of sobriety and beaten mercilessly with the cudgel of a contemporary critique.

     

    And once again the clock tells me it’s time to stop wittering before Wendy brings to bear a non-metaphorical cudgel.

    Later,

    Buck.

  • Operation New Sax!

    Finally it’s arrived! One day from China to Coventry, two weeks sat at customs, another couple of days being sent to London then Liverpool, then being held there until I paid the import tax (£18, plus £13 handling fee to Parcel Force, robbing bastards.)

    Finally got it on Friday. It’s ace. It looks titchy, but it’s surprisingly loud and the keys feel natural, just the same as playing the tenor.

    Here it is, the tenor and my new soprano saxophone:

    Saxs 

    Honestly, how cool is that?

    It’s like Dr Evil and Mini-Me of the sax world. Of course, looking at it now I am seeing the want of an alto sax (the middle sized one) in the picture. Maybe some other birthday.

    Yes, 46. It’s a bit of ‘meh’ birthday. 45 seems a biggie, 50 seems monumental but 46 is just…’whatever’.

     

    All my news is good, really this week. Sax finally made it and it’s awesome. My leg was feeling iffy after doing my first ride-to-run session for ages. I pulled up short and walked it back home. I gave it a week and did a ten miler yesterday and my leg was fine. Apart from the blisters, obviously.

    Blister!

    So I did another run today (Sunday). Both times nearly killed me though, due to the phenomenal heat. Unbelievable.  After yesterdays near-death-experience I bought some factor 50+ sun cream. Stable door and horses with Lord Lucan.

     

    Sun!

    Ho hum.

    Also this week I’ve found out about a non calorie-controlled diet. You are allowed to eat as much as you like, so you are never  hungry, but only of real food. No processed, sugar and salt added food or drink and you have to keep your carb meals separate from your fat ones. That’s about it. It’s about working with the body to diet, not starving it so it tries to turn all food into fat and eats your lean muscle tissue. Sounds too good to be true. I’ll tell you how it goes next week.

    Work is fine. Wendy is all recovered from her bad patch. Luke is being royally screwed by some letting agency, but I’ll have to go into that in some detail and this is just a quick one, Wendy needs to get to sleep. I’ll update that later.

    Better sign off in point of fact. Got to go and roast like a potato in a microwave in my sunburnt skin.

    Later,

    Buck.

  • Times they are a changing.

    I am in a bit of a dilemma with work. The job I have is steady, Mon-Fri on the same run. I know the route, I know the job, I can find the places and reverse safely into them. I’m not fantastic on that blind-side reverse still, but adequate. On Friday I was running out of driving hours, down to my last two minutes, so I surprised myself by slamming it on really well. Can’t guarantee I won’t make a total hash of it again on Monday, though. The thing is, I am doing it. However much I faff about, I’m getting it done.

    On Friday they also sent me to another drop, the first time I’d had to pick up from there. The yard was quite small and had obstructions along the fence so it was a tight reverse without room to pull forward to straighten up first. I had two warehouse lads leaning out to watch me, and I did it first go. I’m not boasting, this is my job after all. But I have come a long way and am actually settling down and confidently doing things. I remember the nervous wreck I was at Stobbarts. I had no idea what was going on half of the time I was reversing.

    My dilemma is this; do I stick with this job (steady, do-able, but short, inconvenient hours, not massive pay) or do I risk re-applying for that Igloo job? (To which I referred a few months back.)

    It’s better hourly pay, a lot more hours, sealed trailers (you don’t have to do anything with them to unload them, just drive them and swap them at the depots) and the shift start times are what you want (4am-6am, I would choose.)

    Everything about Igloo is better, except I don’t know where all their depots are. I have a map, satnav and google maps/ navigation on my ‘phone. Once I’ve found each one once I should be alright. What I’ve been doing is getting a print off of the instructions to each site and writing notes on them. Sorted for next time then.

    It’s really a matter of when, not if I re-apply.

    The thing that is holding me back is lack of confidence. I’m scared of assessments for a start, even though I sailed through my last one. Then there’s the fear of the unknown. What if it’s loads of tiny yards you have to blind-side into? What if I have another bump? You see, while I’m at this works I am getting better, and if I do have a bump can go and get a better job. If I have a bump at Igloo I’ve thrown away a steady job and buggered my chances with the good job.

    The idea is in my head now though.

     

    One thing I should say, being a driver is so much better than my previous jobs. Whenever I see the warehouse lads now I’m reminded. No chilling, always rushing with someone telling you what to do, and all the jobs involve grafting. A human as a graft machine. Not so with this lark. Have to wait three hours for a unit (truck)? Pop into the canteen and drink coffee. Here’s your drops for the day…see you tomorrow. It’s all chill. And because you are driving it passes the time. I’m working a lot longer shifts now, but it doesn’t seem like work. I remember when that driver I knew twenty years ago found out I’d passed my test. He shook my hand and said “Congratulations, mate. You’re going to fucking hate it!” I said at the time to one of my workmates “There speaks a man who’s never picked boxes in –28C.”

     

    In other news, I’ve tried my final strategy before resorting to the doctors; rested my leg for weeks until it had stopped hurting then warmed up gently but thoroughly before going out for runs. I’ve managed three, ten mile runs and my leg is still working. Touch wood. I am really hopeful that this is it. Fixed. I have to put fifteen minutes into warming up and the same or more warming down, but my leg seems to be holding up. Who knew? Apart, obviously, from every coach, expert, sports advisor and people with common sense.

    All my life it’s been a case of chucking my kit on and setting off at a run. It’s only this time around it’s not been in boots. Perhaps, given my age, it would have happened even if I hadn’t buggered my leg with those fancy trainers.

    Anyway, the good news is; last Saturday I warmed up then set off for a trial run. My leg was holding up at two miles, so I pushed on. I thought about turning around and just doing a five mile run but soldiered on (out of stubbornness if not good sense) and managed the ten miles. It was a poor time, but that wasn’t the objective. I did it with a working leg.

    I’ve been out for two other runs and apart from the usual gripes (blisters, knee throbbing, bones in foot grinding) I seem to be fine. I have been finding the distance a bit of challenge which was annoying me. Then I discussed it with Wendy today, and I probably haven’t done ten, ten mile runs all year. I did two about six weeks ago, then my leg buggered up, before that it was another six weeks and I’m not sure I did two that time.

    Anyway, I’ve put on over a stone and done bugger all running this year due to injury, so ten miles is not too shameful. I want to shed a stone or so before our holiday so I can fit in my wetsuit for sea swims.

     

    The other thing in my life at the moment is my soprano sax. Or rather, it isn’t in my life. I have a tracking jobby (which I have sussed out how to use) and it shows the map and times. It took one day to get from the factory in China to Customs and Excise in Coventry. Eleven days it’s been sat there. GRRRRRR! So no saxing whilst I’m sat, bored in my truck.

     

    A Swedish trucker chum (@TruckerLez) has suggested a book for me, though. The Passage. So far it’s good. A bit like Stephen King’s The Stand, people have said. But with vampires. I took her recommendation after she told me about The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. She had it (in the original Swedish) in audio book to listen to in her truck. She said the prose was that clunky she had to keep stopping it to scream. She was bob on with that.

    Got to go, bedtime is upon us.

    Later,

    Buck.