Category: Life

I took the Megane in for an MOT last week, expecting to fail on a bald tyre and tracking. Given that when our Lisa gave it to me it came via the coppers, who in turn had it inspected by an official Renault garage, and they couldn’t find anything majorly wrong with it. That was only a few months ago, so I was quite optimistic. I booked it in to the garage for the morning of my day off, then work decided I was to go in in the morning, even though it was my 2-10 week, to go out with a driver. Ball ache, but with the push bike in the boot I managed to drop it off and get to work. I rang them later and they said that I needed a wheel bearing replaced, and a few bulbs (which, in retrospect, I know I don’t need. Hmmm.) £49. I said ‘get on it’. And the ABS fault light is on. This surprised me as, never having had ABS, I assumed it was lighting up to show me it was working! (Derrr!) Rang back later and the update was, having run a diagnostic on the ABS the problem was a worn disc on the drive shaft. But they couldn’t replace the disc, had to get a whole new drive shaft with one on! £230! Ker-ching! Bollocks to that! The car, when I insured it was only valued at £400-£500. With the new tyre, tracking, drive shaft/ ABS disc, wheel bearing, bulbs (?) and £205 road tax it would cost more to run than it would to replace.   Desperate times demand desperate measures. I eyed the Micra speculatively. I’d snapped off two bits in the engine. If they got into the moving parts it was game over. But incentivised by £500+ of expenditure I thought I’d give it a go. A lad at work had said the snapped off bits would fall straight into the oil sump, where they would rest harmlessly. He happens to be a bullshitting blowhard, so it wasn’t that much of a reassurance. I went to the scrap yard yesterday and got the whole unit, of which the two snapped off bits were the furthest projection. I fitted it last night. I tried to turn the engine over but the battery was completely flat. Wouldn’t open the doors or light the lights. So I put it on charge. I assumed that having left it to get that flat I would probably have to replace the battery, but could use the one from the Megane just to try it out. Then I got to thinking that perhaps it wasn’t helping matters any that the part had been removed from the engine for months, letting moisture into the cylinders. So I took the plugs out and sprayed WD40 into the barrels, let that soak in overnight to ease any potential rust/ seizure. This morning I went out and put the key in, the dash lit up, […]

Since my last post I’ve been out with a driver. Quite an eye-opener it was too. Some masterfully reversing! I’m nowhere near up to that standard. It’s not just the being able to do it, which I probably could, eventually, it’s being able to so it in one attempt. The stores are on main roads, the access being down little side streets with parked cars which have to be negotiated in reverse. So that was intimidating. On the bright side I got the impression off the driver that Claire, the transport manger, was serious about getting me trained up for the job. Also, I got to have an on-the-job induction to how you are supposed to do it, and how you do it when there is not an assessor about. I got to run through all the stuff I’ll need to know (using the tacho card, tail lift, swearing at car drivers, eating a huge breakfast from a greasy spoon, etc). The bit I wasn’t too keen on was getting in for 5.30 (half an hour earlier than a real, paid, shift) the when we’d done the first runs Claire asking if I was going out for the second run, which would have made it a 13 hour day, unpaid! I’d already talked to the driver about it, saying if she wanted me too I had no choice but to do it. He stepped in when she asked and said that he thought I’d learned all I was going to for one day, pointless me going out again. Bless him. So just did 7 hours, unpaid, on my day off.   This was a might irksome, especially as I’m expecting this to be a protracted arrangement. However, the benefits of the plan became apparent when some arseholes tried to screw it up for me! I told one of the lads in the freezer what was happening. Not really bitching, just saying about the cheek of ‘proving my commitment to the company’. He is mates with the union rep for the freezer. Something that hadn’t occurred to me. The union being the ineffectual management butt-monkeys they are I hadn’t even factored them into any equation. When I went for my break the union rep was up in arms, me training, unpaid, not clocked on, not covered in case of accident (fair point that). He was saying he was going to speak to the drivers rep and see what could be done. Just when you finally start to get your shit together some well intentioned, self important arsehole sticks their oar in. I was not happy. I explained the the other managers had talked the talk but done nothing for me for the last 18 months, Claire had said it’s a bit of shit deal, but it’ll get you where your want to go. On Friday she said “see me Monday, we’ll sort something out”, by Wednesday I was out with a driver. That’s what you want. He was still agitated and […]

Yesterday I took all of my new toys and gave them a work-out. I’ve been wanting to test my level of fitness (mental as much as physical) in the only way that’s relevant; by doing a half Ironman. That is; swim 1.2 miles, (in under an hour) ride 56 miles (under 4:30) and run 13.1 miles/ half marathon (under 4 hours). I have had a multitude of excuses why I haven’t done so to date. The snow and ice being a rather good one, then getting a day off when it was above zero degrees and when the swimming pool was open in the morning, etc etc. Yesterday I took the plunge. I didn’t quite go the whole hog, leap from one discipline straight in to the next, but did all three over the course of the day. I got fed in between, and even took a shower. Pussy! I did the swim at dead on the time limit. This was, he says hastily, at least partially down to poor use of equipment. I was using the lap counter on my watch to mark the lengths swam, but I don’t think it was registering every fumbled press. Also, as it’s only got a 30 lap memory I swam 10 lengths (6 mins) and pressed it, swam another 10 and they took 9 minutes! I think I lost count. I couldn’t have dropped my pace by 50% in such a short space of time. Anyway, I just about made it, I think. I’ll give it another go soon to find out. As I said, I had to rush home, run Wendy to church, grab some grub (I live in terror of the energy crash!) put the washing out (all recognized events in the revised Ironman rule book) then set off for the ride. It was windy and a bit nippy, so going into it I wasn’t even sure if I was going to try for the distance, a factor that lead to the delay between events. No point in going off half cocked if you are not even going to go the distance. Even into the wind it was so much easier on my lovely new bike that I decided to go for it. I had two, two minute stops to drink water and eat, and still made the meerkat landmark in 1 hour 50. Sat down and had five minutes while I troughed out and put my gel pads on. Apparently cycling can cause a pinching on a bunch of nerves between your toes which leads to your feet going numb and freezing. I thought by moving my foot-to-pedal position in the cleats I might have overcome it, so didn’t put on gel pads (which cushion said nerve cluster, supposedly easing the condition). Wrong. My feet were like ice to the touch, even though I was sweating. So I put the pads on whilst stopped. That particular horse had already bolted. So it was ice cold numb feet all the […]

I’ve got my super new Boardman bike. I’ve swapped the tri bars over from my old bike, which has now been reassigned to the role of work commuter. That’s 55 miles a week on a heavy bike further weighed down by panniers, waterproofs, pump, lights et al. Got to be good for easy muscle building/ gradual stamina building. But that’s old kit. Not exciting at all. New kit, my lovely Boardman bike!  Finally! The picture doesn’t begin to do it justice. Even if it weren’t all blurry. I spent ages viewing different websites and comparing the specifications and relative merits of different bikes before going for this one. I went for it because it was the best for the price Halfords did, and the cycle2work scheme was run by work exclusively through Halfords. But when that was in doubt I asked the seasoned push bikers and triathletes on Twitter for suggestions, and this still came out top spec for the money. So I got it. The one thing I wasn’t expecting was for it to be so damn pretty! The pictures, even the good quality zoomed in one on Halfords site (which I can’t seem to steal for here) don’t do it justice. The tyres are tiny, the wheels have that tapered ‘filled-in’ jobby going on to aid the aerodynamics, the gear changes are by twitching levers on the brake levers and the handlebars are sublime. Old racing handlebars were just a U on it’s side. You angled them down a bit so you had a slightly lower/ further forward racing position. This inevitably meant you slid into the bottom of the U and were very uncomfortable. Boardman have given you three brilliant riding positions, on top of the bars, resting on the rubberized tops of the brake levers, right down on horizontal bottom bars or crouched with your hands resting comfortably on a flat diagonal section, Obvious, once you’ve ridden it. One of those ideas that are so simple and perfect you can’t believe they ever did it any other way. It is light as feather and in all ways lovely. The keen eyed amongst you will have noticed the want of pedals and mudguards in the picture. This I fixed. I got some fancy ‘cleat’ pedals (the ones that lock your feet into the pedals, much to the amusement of many as you fall sideways at traffic lights!) and some lightweight ‘barely-there’ plastic mudguards. Thus equipped, I then needed to buy the specialist triathlon trainers which fit into the cleats. That will be another £90. Kerr-Ching! The three holes in the soles accept the screws for the cleats, which in turn wedge into the pedals, locking you in. Also you might notice the big hole under the toes. This is so you can hop out of your wet suit, pull the one velcro strap tight (the shoes having been left in situ in the cleats) and cycle away, all the water draining out of said hole. That’s a […]

Off and on, since I wrote that entry saying about the whole other mindset of army/ civvy life, I have been wondering if I over-egged it. Whether, in fact there is that much of a difference. The other day, for no apparent reason I remembered an incident from the last T.A. outing.   Our group, C section, were with the other two. We’d been out dicking about in the field all day. For one exercise we’d dropped off our bergans (backpacks) and gone out on patrol in our sections with just our patrol webbing (think: Bat utility belt!) and rifle. When we’d finished, the three sections regrouped across a dip in the terrain from the bergans. As a bit of team building the corporal said we were to race across, pick up our bergans, then race back. Last section in to face a forfeit. We ran off, got to our bergans, then as I was helping one of the girlies in our section on with hers I heard a P.O. (Potential Officer) from our section shout out “Come on 3 section!” as he started to run back. I continued to help my team mate. As we were running back she fell over. I stopped and helped her up then ran her in. We were last. I was furious. I shouted at the P.O., “It’s supposed to be team building! You don’t leave a man down, you prick!” I was actually livid. The squad moves as fast as the slowest man. You take their bergan, their webbing, you drag them with you, but you do not leave them behind. He had run off and left the slowest to struggle. Whilst technically it was a woman down, the point remains valid.   Deep breaths. *in with calm, out with homicidal rage* Just thinking about it has got me wound up.   Anyway, my point is; I don’t think I over-egged it too much. As you move further away from the army mode you assimilate it into your civvy way of thinking until you can’t see the join. Then you remember incidents like the above and it just doesn’t fit into your normal way of life or thinking.   As soon as the weather looks a bit healthier I’ll have to get back and do the last part of my training. Cold, sleep deprived, over bullshitted fun. Talking of the bleak conditions, I haven’t been able to go out and run or cycle since my last entry nearly two weeks ago. It’s been constant snow and ice. No way am I running or riding in that, I’d break my neck! There’s no real excuse why I haven’t been swimming, mind.   One of the chaps on twitter is a Scouse triathlete and he recommended his club. Apparently they do team swimming three nights a week in a 50 metre pool, with a coach, 7.30-10 pm, £3.90 a lesson! It’s 12 miles away. Not too bad. Then from April to September they do outdoor […]