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The Sufferfest has some brilliant advice on mental toughness. It starts with a 3 point plan. 1 Taking the positive path. 2 Creating the excitement. 3 Fostering a strong will. Taking the positive path is a mental decision. They give the example of a group bike ride, going up a hill, and you start to struggle. As soon as you think “I can’t keep up”, you are thinking you are going to drop off the pack, you think you’re not good enough, it was stupid to come out for the ride, you start beating yourself up and making it worse. That’s all before you’ve dropped off another inch. Instead, as soon as the negative thought occurs, they say imagine a STOP! sign. Then picture two paths behind it. One leads to defeat and disappointment, the other leads to your ultimate goal, your Mount Sufferlandria. You have to STOP! the negative thought chain, choose the right path, then determine what the very first goal is past that STOP! sign on the path to Mt S, and don’t stop until you’ve achieved it. Creating the excitement is about controlling stress. You think it’s your race in the morning and you aren’t ready, you can’t do it, it’s too much. Instead, STOP! and visualise yourself at the start line, pumped and ready to go. Review all the training you’ve done to get here, you are prepared. Do some deep breathing to calm yourself then picture yourself on the finish line, victorious. Turn worry and stress into positivity and excitement. Fostering a strong will. Now this is where it all goes pear shaped. When you know what you want, and why you want it, nothing can stop you. Why. You. Want. It. My first thought is to say “I don’t know/ absolutely no idea” but that smacks of negativity. So here we are. Why do I want it? Bolton (one of the hardest) Ironman Lands End – John O’Groats Sub 3 hour marathon. First observation: those are all events that other people consider benchmarks. Is it a need for recognition and approval? Certainly not on any conscious level. The thought of it being that makes me despise myself just a little bit more. I started all this fitness lark just to pass the army run test. Then found I quite enjoyed it. And thought I could do better next time. Then someone on twitter said about a half marathon and that was a massive challenge, did that and suddenly it wasn’t a big challenge, it was something even I could do, so 9 months later I did an Iron distance tri. Perhaps it’s to do with me not being able to feel pride in my accomplishments, so always looking for the one big enough that I’ll be happy and proud of myself? Again, not consciously. I never expect to achieve that and I’m not sure it’s even possible for me, though I’m sure it would be nice. I read a book in which people […]

Goals (month): Get to 10st 6lb. Move 4DP profile to a harder setting. Swimming: get floaty. Goals (Week): Lose 5lb – done. Raise 4DP (hardness of turbo trainer on The Sufferfest) – too ambitious, not done. Start swimming, 1 swim – done. Reflect: Good week. I’ve never managed a diet before. I have serious issues about going swimming, so that was a major success. Due to me not being able to do an accurate 4DP fitness test with my trainer on the Sufferfest I can’t just try harder on the test and move my settings up a little bit, I have to use previously established results. The lowest one above where I am is a third tougher. I’ve been back training seriously for a fortnight, with a few weeks of commute riding before that. I’m just not able to raise my power by a third in one go, yet. I did manage to ride up Frodsham hill without going into the Ring of Shame today, so, progress. Reward: My chippy tea last night. Guilt free. Revise: Next week: lose 2lb, and do 2 swims.

The Sufferfest training plan I’m doing has a mental toughness course. It’s not (just) about enduring the pain without quitting, it’s (also) about focusing your mind on your goal, planning how you’re going to get there, and trying to instil habits that will keep you going when you lose interest, or find it too hard. The Sufferfest is very good at what it does. The goal setting thing was “What are your goals?” Bolton Ironman (IM) Sub 3 hour marathon Lose the weight I’ve put on since I stopped running Land’s End- John O’ Groates pushbike ride? (LEJOG) “Not good enough!Be specific!” OK, 15 hour Bolton IM. Get to 10 stone. 2 hours 59 marathon. Still LEJOG. “BIGGER!” OK, 13 hour IM Bolton. Still 10 stone. 2 hours 45 marathon (Berlin marathon qualifying time), LEJOG in 7 days. Once they’ve got you a bit scared and panicked about the scale of the challenge they move on to whittling it down to your primary goal. Bolton IM. As they rightly say, the other goals can be stepping stones for your primary goal. Your personal Mount Sufferlandria. Then, and here’s the science bit, instead of just leaving me to shove chocolate bars in my face and wait to get slim, they ask what you’re going to do to get there? What is your goal for this month? And to get to that, what is your goal for this week? They had me so focused I put as my weekly goal for this week (I only had 3 days left when I did the module) to lose 5lb, (I’d already lost 2), to go for a swim, and to up the resistance on my turbo trainer. I did a 2 hours 10 minutes session on the turbo on The Sufferfest today, and it’s just not feasible to up the power yet. My legs are in bits, I could barely hold on for the beasting sessions. Upping the power by a third is just too much for now. But that’s OK, it says to review, reflect and revise for the next week. I’ll see in the morning, but I’ve lost 4 pounds already. I had a chippy tea (we’re going into lockdown, no more chippy for a month or so) but I’m hoping the long session on the bike will have neutralised the calories. The main thing though is the swim. I got swept up in the training plan and said I was going for a swim! I hate swimming. The first thing I did when I gave up on triathlon last time was to bin my trunks. Which felt great! It’s not the physical activity of swimming, I get a huge resistance to going, and a mild panic at the thought. I was trying to work out why, but I can’t. OK, I don’t want to meet people, but it’s not like a club where you have to interact with them. Odd. Anyway, the night of great enthusiasm gave way to the cold […]

I had that unexpected week off work, then asked to work my days off to get some overtime. My first day back was on Saturday. As usual it was too early in the morning. I tweeted thus: A few hours later I added: So that kind of bummed my weekend out. I was off until today, (Tuesday) so nothing could progress. I went in today to give my statement. They’ve taken my swipe card and locker key and suspended me. That is standard. It’s going to a hearing for gross misconduct. I asked the manager on the ‘phone yesterday, “Am I sacked?” and he surprised me by saying that they’d go through the procedure, but hopefully it wouldn’t come to that. Today though I got the impression he just didn’t want to be the one to tell me. We’ll see. As he was being so evasive, I asked a shunter. They are based in the yard and talk to all the drivers and know everybody’s business. He said, as I thought, the last load of drivers have all been sacked. I have some mitigating factors. The bay at this particular drop is tight against a jutting out concrete wall on one side, so you park as far to the other side as possible. With the trailer doors open this means you can’t see the traffic light. The guy tipping me is very deaf, and his speech is very hard to understand. I parked, there was only 5 bags to take off, I saw one go past in my mirror, heard him shouting, thought he was saying I was done, so went and got my keys and pulled forward 15 foot to close my doors. Oh very dear. I think I’m sacked. But as someone said “There are two things in life about which you should never worry. That which you can change, and that which you can’t.” I’m currently destruct testing the latter part of that maxim. It’s really inconvenient timing to be sacked though, with the plague destroying the economy. A year ago I could have walked out into another job. Now I’m looking at agency work until the new year, but that is very thin on the ground after that. I’ve applied for another job, and I’m looking at several others, but I’m expecting long shifts and probably nights. Life is change. Better to be here, with a HGV licence and not drinking, than the state I was in most of my life. I can make money and have options, even if I’m sacked. For many years all I worked for was to pay for beer and such. And thinking about it, I’m not loony. The agency is bad. There’s no getting away from that. But when I think about what I’ve been through, most of it self-inflicted, life is still a shedload better than it has been. Anyway, not to fret. Right here, right now, I’m on paid holiday until they send me a letter (a snailmail […]

Ride Up Grades.” Eddie Mercx That quote has been rattling around in my brain for a few weeks. Today I did something about it. I’ve had a week of beasting myself on the Sufferfest, and I’ve about got all the niggles with my turbo trainer worked out. I still have trouble grinding out low revs, high power (for simulated hill climbs) though. I may try turning the computer control off for those rides. I digress, today I did my first non-commute ride in ages. If you’re going for a bit of ride, there’s only one testing ground on my doorstep, Frodsham hill. A mile straight up, with a 16% gradient at the top. I remember, as a teenager, my mate and I rode up there in 10th gear for a challenge. Stood on the pedals the whole way, but we did it. We passed a cycling club, wobbling their way up, some of them off and pushing. This new bike has three gear rings at the front. Your normal large ring for high gears, and the middle one for shameful hill fails. And the unspeakable, tiny, ring of shame, that no-one would ever use. By the time I hit the 16% at the top of the hill I was stood up, in the ring of shame, in the first gear on the back cog, wishing I had a lower gear. My legs were screaming. I got to the top and my legs were so battered I didn’t think I’d be able to ride up the hills on the way home. I managed to do 40 miles, but most of it was along the canal. As you can see from the graph, all the hills were in Frodsham. You can see to infinity on the way down, and your life flashing before your eyes on the ride up. The positives I took from the ride are: I did it, and didn’t die. I didn’t get felled by plague weakness. Road riding (which I’ve been avoiding as too dangerous) is actually OK. And my first ride out in a year or so, and, looking at the stats, I managed over a third of the miles and more than a quarter of the elevation of the Ironman Bolton ride. The not so good is that it wiped my legs out. I couldn’t have done another ascent of the hill. And even with the rest of it on the flat, I was too slow for the time cut-off. But it’s a base upon which to build. I’m going to make Frodsham hill a weekly event now. Build up to hill repeats. I used to be able to do it. Don’t buy upgrades, ride up grades! The lad knew what he was talking about. The fact that I was out riding today is another cause for celebration. I looked at my payslip and I’m down to 6 day’s holiday for the year. *sad face* That’s still a long time if I want, as I’m currently […]