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Things are sort of moving apace in my new madness. I keep making progress only to have to stop again.

I was supposed to be going to pick up my new boat today. I was all excited. I’ve bought a book on how to sail, and read it a few times. I’ve also watched a really good video on the basics. How to start, steer and stop. I was wondering about the last of them, as there are no brakes. It turns out it was the same as the other thing I was worrying about, going overboard and the ship charging off into the distance. Apparently it’s the sailor holding the sail to the wind that powers it. As soon as you let go of the mainsheet (get me! That’s the bit of rope that pulls the sail around) the sail swings around like a weather vane, so it’s no longer catching the wind and powering the boat.

I was pretty confident I could at least do some basic sailing. I’ve applied to two local yachting places for lessons. One of them, Pickmere Lake club, got back to me. The first thing they said was not to buy a Topper (the little boat, slightly more that a surfboard with a sail, I was supposed to be getting today) as they are built for teenagers. You have to be small to fit under the boom (the bottom bar of the sail) and lightweight. I might get away with the height, and I am quite limber, but unfortunately I am too blubbered up.

I can barely bring myself to say this. My Triumph Daytona was my last, best hope, for biking. I fear it failed.

I know from the outside this seems incredible, 5 weeks after getting my dream super toy and being over the moon with it, and I still love it, but I think the bottom line is there is no place in my life for a motorbike right now.

After the painfully obsessive bit, and getting all the kit, I’ve only been out on it about 4 times. I went out today to a quiet spot with a big roundabout just before a dead end, so no traffic goes there, to practice some cornering technique. I was rubbish, and a bit embarrassed, so only did two laps then went off for a ride. As I was riding it struck me. All the arguments that *proved* this was the bike I *must have* were all wrong. I don’t have the skills to ride knee-down, and when I was out on the ride I was having to watch out for speed limits as my job is on the line. I’ve got an awesome, beautiful bike, that I can’t, and don’t, use. The only thing I could think of would be going to track days. So a pointless bit of a pretty I use twice or three times a year. I have nowhere to go. I have absolutely no need for a motorbike.

I had a bit of a to-do when I got my new bike and realised my kit wasn’t appropriate. You need proper race type kit for a race bike, in case of crashes. Previously it was my leather jacket, a stout pair of boots, a stylish (but minimal protection) pair of soft leather gauntlets, and, usually, whatever trousers I was wearing at the time.

If you want to throw the bike into corners you need knee sliders. So that means new leather jeans. Then I might as well update my jacket to suit. And I need proper bike boots. And gloves.

I got my kit. It took a few goes on the trousers as I am the exact perfect height for a man (5′ 6 ½”) but everyone else is freakishly tall, so I had to get short leg. And they flatter us porkers with the waist sizes. I’m, at best, a 34″, I ended up having to get a 30″ waist.

Once again I find I’ve lived long enough to become what I previously despised.

I’ve got my new bike as a toy. My main mode of transport is my pushbike, the motorbike is just for having fun. For going fast into corners, leaning right over. It follows, therefore, that I want optimum riding conditions. If it’s raining, and when it gets around to snow and ice, there would be no point in taking it out.

I’ve become a Fair Weather Biker! The shame!

Quick update on my new bike.

I was doing my obsessive search of the 4 main sale sites looking for a Daytona when I saw this bike. He’d only just posted it, I replied straight away, and asked to see it after work the next day. He didn’t want me to as he said the battery had died and he’d only just ordered a new one. He said if I really wanted to see it he could start it off jump leads. I was on late finishes the rest of the week so I insisted. When I got there the battery had arrived, he’d fitted it, and the bike started on the button. It looked pristine. I mean, really, really, immaculate.

It was still a bit of a gamble. It said ‘full service history’, 19,000 miles, and 2 owners (I think). But it was a grand cheaper than similar examples of that age and mileage, and had no MOT. The advert said it had only done 20 miles since it’s last, genuine Triumph, service (the ride home from the service) so it should be fine. As I said I’ve paid top dollar for a bike in the past, thinking it was going to be getting a better bike because it was dearer, and ended up feeling cheated.