What’s been happening? Well, Wendy pranged the car around Manchester. I was taking her on a dry run to see if she could find her way on her own the next day (going to some church bash). She put way too much pressure on herself, she’d made the motorway bit into a big deal in her head, then when we got around Manchester she was rushing, scared to hold anyone up. Anyway, she was flapping a bit, trying to follow the satnav, pulled out from a stop at a junction, straight into the side of a passing car. No-one was hurt, so I just showed her how to exchange details and take pictures, then got her to drive home. The woman she hit was trying to have a fag as she ‘phoned in the details, the fag was all over the place she was shaking so bad. Wendy totally held it together (it was only a bump), drove home. All good. The next day she got up and was shaking, couldn’t face driving the 2 miles to church, never mind Manchester. I thought that was it, her driving was over, but she woman-ed up and drove herself to work on the Monday. I was thinking about it, I don’t know if I am just used to it, or it’s an aspect of my condition (reckless driving is a big indicator) but I just bounce down the road, pick myself and my bike up, and carry on. I don’t get shock. The last time I went into shock was when I got my tooth nutted out and a bit of a kicking whilst I was down. I was only a kid. That was a moment. On the bright side, I was in a crash that was in absolutely no way my fault. That’s novel. And I didn’t lose my no-claims (I’m a named driver on Wendy’s policy) so that’s good. I’m still recovering from my (motorbike) crash. I gave up and went to the doctor this morning about my shoulder. It’s nothing much, but it’s been nearly 2 months and it’s still not right. He’s arranged for me to go for a scan, see what’s up. Wendy has said in the past the reason I don’t get treated properly by the doctors is that I don’t lay it on thick. I was all ‘nah’. Heard myself telling the doctor "It’s probably nothing", today. She may have a point. My poor bike is still not right, either. I got a replacement headlight cowl/ fairing thing. I sprayed it up and fitted it (huge pain in the arse!) but the sub-frame around the headlight is all bent and the things that hold my clocks on have all snapped off. It’s rideable, but I’m going to have to strip it down again and fit new clocks and subframe. *sigh* At least I found some going cheap on eBay. They should be here tomorrow. I am on the motorbike from now on in. I was […]
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January done.
I’ve just about got back on the triathlon horse. I’ve completed the first month of my ‘run every day of 2019’ challenge. It’s not been easy as I have been nursing injuries. Happily I’m mostly over them. The tendons on the top of my foot keep flaring up, but nothing debilitating. The pains up my shins, in my knees, and my shoulder are all but gone. Because I’m doing most of my runs straight off the pushbike after riding 9 and a bit miles back from work (and I’ve been tentative due to injuries) I’ve not done that many miles, but they all add up. 186 miles for January. I did a trial run (a literal run) to work last weekend, to see how long it would take me. It was cold and it had been threatening rain all day. I set off in a new, long sleeve, running top. As I was about to leave the house it started spitting. I ignored it, thinking it would pass. All the way to work it rained. I was soaked, freezing and in a very dark place as I was dreading the run back. After I turned around it stopped raining for a few miles which allowed me to warm and dry a little bit. Then I was well on my way so it didn’t get me down when it started raining again. With me getting lost and such, it was a 17.5 mile run in the end. 2 hours 35. Not a great time, but the challenge was just to keep going it was so beastly. Or rather, I was stupidly unprepared. A waterproof (and windproof, it was biting) jacket would have made all the difference. Again, the fact is I did it. As I say I’ve been commuting to work, that’s about 18.5 miles round trip (by road, the run was down the canal and such). I had a day slipping about on some ice, the back end slid out three times on one ride in. Which is scary when your feet are clipped to the pedals and you are being narrowly passed by cars. I asked for some advice and bought a set of new, fatter (28mm instead of 23mm) puncture resistant, sports tyres. They are very nice. The product photo’ made me laugh. Everyone else who wants to advertise their product calls the modelling agency for a bunch of beautiful 20 somethings and a wise old man. Not the Germans. Their photo’ says “Yes. These are the best tyres in the world. And if you disagree we’ll come and punch your lights out.” I bought them then realised I’d had the other set for nearly a year and they were as smooth as glass. Not ideal for winter. I ordered the new ones. The next day, as I was riding home, and the front tyre made a big hissing sound and went flat in a few seconds. I carry a spare tube so I checked for puncture inducing […]
Continue readingThere is no try!
I did a review of last year in my last blog, so, with mind numbing inevitability, I’m looking ahead now. I’m trying to make it my New Year’s Resolution to run every day this year. At least a mile. The mile is just for rest days and when they stitch me up with 15 hour shifts. I say ‘trying’, risking the wrath of Master Yoda, because I’m starting off with some injuries that really should be rested. It’s nothing serious. My shoulder is still a bit rum from the crash. I managed to slide the back end right round and hit the van sideways, slamming my shoulder into the van. Good job I was wearing an armoured leather jacket. I’m almost completely recovered I think, except for if I try to lie on it, put pressure on it, or try to rotate my arm. Good as new. I’ve still not tried it on a swim, though. Then there’s my foot. I’ve managed to pull some tendons on the top of it, which is new for me. Doctor Google says the usual (RICE: Rest, Ice/ Ibuprofen, Compression, Elevation) but I don’t seem to be making it worse, so I’ll stick with it for now. It does make sleeping a bit of a challenge though. If my left foot isn’t perfectly flat it hurts (not bad, but enough to be uncomfortable and a worry about further damage) the only way I can reliably do that is to roll on my right side, which hurts because I’ve smacked my shoulder. It’s like a bone moves up when I lie on it. Gotta larf. And I’ve got a pain up the inside of my shin. Again, that doesn’t seem to be getting worse. Possibly better, in fact. Anyway, if I can get through these injuries and heal while still training, that’s my goal for this year. Some guy (Ron Hill, better to name him, he deserves the credit) ran at least a mile every day for 52 years and 39 days! He had to stop in 2017 because of heart worries, but huge respect. I don’t think I’m going to beat that somehow. The gargantuan pachyderm in the room though is my mental health. As I’ve mentioned before, it turns out the ‘borderline’ in Borderline Personality Disorder refers not to it being borderline as a condition (ie, negligible) but refers to the fact the condition is on the borderline between neurosis and psychosis. Sufferers can cross back and forth. I’ve had some bad times with it, but I’ve never been psychotic. Until now. Quote: “Let us begin with the short explanation about neurosis. It is an emotional illness in which a person experiences strong feelings of fear or worry. It involves distress but not delusions or hallucinations. Its symptoms are similar to stress but not a radical loss of touch with reality. Unlike neurosis, psychosis is rather a severe mental disorder in which thoughts and emotions are so impaired that contact is lost […]
Continue readingClearly Now The Past Expects…
(…the giant steps we had to take. Sisters of Mercy song lyrics.) I’ve just read through my blogs for the year, (so you don’t have to. You’re welcome.) and it was an eye-opener. You, (perhaps just I) take for granted where you are and what you’ve done. Then I read back and bloody hell! I’d totally forgotten. This time last year I hadn’t ridden a pushbike or swam for 3 or so years, hadn’t run for 5 months, had no life, was low, and all I did was work and sleep. I did my first run of 5 miles last January, then a few days later just about made a 10 mile pushbike ride to work. I remember how bad that was. A year on I’m spinning it up and going for better times, back then it was all I could do to finish the 10 miles. The swimming remains my Achilles heel. Then I committed to the Outlaw triathlon. From my worst fitness in years to an Outlaw in 7 months. It feels a bit like it happened to someone else, so I don’t mind saying that was quite impressive. Work was a pain. I couldn’t train around the stupid-long shifts they were giving me every day. I got myself into a flap thinking about how I was going to have to quit either my job or the Outlaw, I thought there was no way they’d let me have short shifts, logistics just isn’t that kind of job. I asked, and they changed my start time and gave me shorter shifts! Thanks work, that was really great of you. I went from no running for 5 months to 3 marathons over 3 weeks in 3 months. I’ve had a few setbacks, sports injuries from ‘too much, too soon’ (Every. Time!) and doing stupid things like running without socks, wrong size cycling shoes, etc, but I did the Outlaw and got a personal best. The sports injuries have killed my hope for a sub 3 hour marathon in April. *sigh* There have been a few fails over the year. I didn’t keep going to the tri club, I was over-committed so had to quit my Russian language school and there was that (mercifully brief) period of really nasty depression that killed my training stone dead for a month. Over the last year I’ve sold one motorbike, bought the awesome FireBlade and recently crashed another motorbike. I bought my road pushbike, fitted it for triathlon, bought a turbo trainer, a bike computer and my triathlon specific pushbike. Wendy got her pushbike (and has ridden it nearly 10 miles in total, lol), passed her car test first time and got her Mini. Also I’ve recently returned to the saxophone and bought a cheap straight soprano sax for use at work. Also I’ve gone back to being a vegetarian. And have found a wonderful site (and bought the cookbook) called minimalistbaker.com . It’s all vegan recipes with 10 ingredients or fewer. I wasn’t […]
Continue readingBarking.
I’ve been having patches of anxiety and such for a while. Then out of the blue I’ve been slammed by a really nasty bout of loony-ness. Depression. I’ve had several attacks of random loony in the past, I was expecting that again. Where I fixate on one trigger event or concept (the local kid’s ball, – I still get uneasy at the sound of a ball bouncing –, or prior to that, Death and Time) which is horrible and scary. But no, just depression. In our family that’s at best passé. It’s been a few weeks now. On the bright side, it’s not constant, I keep having good days. They other day I was having an episode of sane and I convinced myself I was just imagining it, that it was just feeling blue with a large dose of self pity. I was driving along, concentrating on the road and my Russian ‘tapes’, when suddenly it hit me full force. Utterly crushed me. More than I thought I could endure. I’m not imagining it. And the self pity is hard earned. As I say, in my family my little bout of nuttiness is embarrassingly minor. I’m the guy with the plaster on his blister telling someone in a full body cast how much it hurts. But when it washes over me it takes everything away. I can’t get excited, or make plans, or do anything. The bad bits feel literally unbearable. The weird thing is; whilst I know consciously that bouts usually last three months and that it will probably go again in a day or so, when it hits I can’t believe I will ever be right again. I’ve had a good day today, hence being able to blog. I’ve not done any training for about a fortnight, totally not been able to face going out to my swim lessons. On the bright side, I’ve been constructive in my avoidance. I’ve built a really spiffy and sturdy back gate to replace the shoddy fence-panel-on-hinges thing I put up originally. For some reason the wind funnels across our house. At the front we’ve had to bungee cord the bins to stop them from flying away, I have to park my motorbike on the pavement because it’s been blown over twice out front, and the back gate gets blown off it’s hinges. I’m totally on top of that now. Also, I’ve returned to the saxophone. And I’m flying through some really good books. Also I’ve found a brilliant vegan cookery site https://minimalistbaker.com/ and I’ve been cooking loads. I was after veggie fare, to be honest, but that came up on a search for fried rice. Some gorgeous food. Best damn veggie burger I’ve ever tasted. The stir fry rice is delicious. And, amazingly, vegan. It was only a few weeks ago I was telling someone on Twitter that the only good thing (in my experience) about vegan food was it took the sting out of the fear of death. It must […]
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