Bugger!

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Spoke too soon. All going swimmingly, quietly competent, HAH!

I’ve changed my mind. I’m taking to it like a duck to ballet. I thought I was doing alright, not killed anyone, not too nervous, seemed like all was spiffy, just one lesson and all.

Turns out I was in the ‘unconsciously incompetent’ phase; where I didn’t know how much I didn’t know. I was wondering how I was supposed to judge the tighter corners when as you turn into them, the trailer blocks your view in one mirror, and the other is pointing at nothing in particular. Wasn’t overly concerned as I seemed to be doing it anyway. Then we came to an island today. Obviously you are all aquiver with the amount of things you are trying to do at once in that situation. You have to line the truck up, bring your speed down, select the appropriate gear, try to keep moving, then leap into any gap in the traffic with all sixty foot of wagon.

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Back to driver training

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Well, after all the excitement of the wedding I’m back to the day to day stuff. I went out for my first lesson in an artic yesterday. I did that one drive up and down a straight road before, but yesterday was the biggy. Forty four foot trailer, dirty great DAF unit. Bloody huge.

He told me to drive it up the big straight road I went to on my assessment, not a problem, do a U-turn at the top, fine and dandy, drive back, easy peasy, take the next left onto the main road, DO WHAT?

And that was my warm up done. One tootle up and down a quiet road, then out into the real world in the best part of sixty foot of truck!

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Wedding

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Well, that wasn’t so bad!

Despite me wanting it to be quick and painless, with the minimum of fuss everyone turned up anyway (Wendy’s workmates, even her hairdresser, bless) and I quite got into it. We decided to go to a local spit-and-sawdust pub that is down the road from the registry office (Lisa, Jo and I were once regular denizens there) for a bit of a chat and a mingle.

Everyone was really nice, and gave us loads of money, (so much so I’m thinking of giving up work and becoming a serial husband) and it was really nice.

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Did anyone get the number of that bus?

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Well, what a couple of days I’ve had. I had been a bit tickly for a few days, nothing serious just the odd cough. I started feeling a bit rough on Tuesday night, thought no more of it and toddled off to bed. When I got up Wednesday morning at 5 I felt like death. Hot and cold sweats, massive headache, thoughts not quite right, just holding my head up was an effort. I ‘phoned in sick, had a Lemsip and went back to bed. I was taking paracetamol every four hours, then I was sick, started with diarrhoea, was a bit delirious, and still in massive pain from the headache.

I decided my body was trying to tell me something with the evacuation, so set to starving myself for 48 hours. This was exceptionally easy given how I felt. I barely got out of bed Wednesday or Thursday, I was having pain killers every four hours around the clock (screw the ‘do not exceed four doses in 24 hours’, if that’s what they want, make stronger pills)! By the middle of Thursday night the pain was so severe I couldn’t even wait the full four hours.

And by the way, to any mothers who read this, I looked it up on the Internet comparative pain guide, and it said "Yeah, you wish you were in labour! This is proper pain, not one twinge every five minutes."

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The only church you’ll get me in is Charlotte

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We are getting married. Wendy and I, not Charlotte Church. In the registry office, not the church, sorry Charlotte.

Right, preliminary confusion sorted out we can proceed. Wendy and I are to be wed. A week on Thursday (the fifth of March). Thirteen years, seven months, and three weeks after we started seeing each other again (we went out for a year on a separate occasion prior to that). Personally I think we should heed the adage "Marry in haste, repent at leisure", but little miss impetuous will insist. I’ll just have to keep my wits about me if she starts saying that I should take out life insurance.

We had ruminated over doing the deed and then telling everyone. That way we could have the quiet, no fuss, just making it legal, sort of affair we were after. However, we thought the family might be miffed. So we’ve announced it. Spectacular non-event. I sent an email to my mob, they couldn’t even get up the enthusiasm to acknowledge receipt, never mind say if they were coming or not. Admittedly, it is going to be deathly dull. We don’t drink, do other drugs, or anything else that makes not being dead seem worthwhile. So it’s a quick service, then home again for a nice cup of tea. However, as this is my only time I’m to wed, you’d have thought someone would have at least said ‘congratulations’.

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