Keep on keeping on.

Still not dead. Although I keep coming close.

Just thought I’d confirm I’m still here.


The source of my ongoing near death experiences, my bike, is a joy, as ever.

I’ve replaced the front brake pads, clutch cable, upgraded the front shock absorber springs, upgraded the rear shocks, and, as it was rusty, took the swinging arm off, de-rusted it and resprayed it.

Worrying when it’s at this stage:



And the before and after of the new shocks:



Now, although I think they look prettier, that isn’t the main thing. The thing is now I have stiffer suspension, front and back. I can ride over, say, the white lines and cats eyes between lane 2 and 3 without setting up a speed wobble. And throw it into fast corners without weaving. Neither phenomena being conducive to bowel control.


Also I’ve had the cunning idea of waking car drivers up. On a course I recently attended the guy was saying we are conditioned to look for cars, we don’t even notice we aren’t noticing bikes, and that one biker dies every single day.

Yesterday, dead biker.

Today, dead biker.

Tomorrow, dead biker.

So my theory is this: no one notices bikes, but we are all conditioned to notice blues lights. The more dangerous your driving the more you are looking out for them.



As you can see that was daylight and the tiny little spots were outshining my headlight.

The idea is not to fool people into thinking I’m a bike copper, just so that they notice I’m there.

Still on my shopping list are louder pipes, a short rear mudguard and ‘plate holder, still want a seat hump if I can see one that I like, and possibly clip on handlebars. The clip ons are cheap enough, but then you have to buy mounting brackets for your headlight and a new (£200+) bit for on top of the forks, or you are left with the handlebar clamps with nothing in them, looking ugly. Possibly all new cables as well.

Oh and new air filter to get rid of that big black bit of plastic under the seat.

So, plenty to go at.

And if you’re not into bikes, well shame on you.


Work is still groovy. I really want to hang in at this one and get taken on full time. It’s long and unpredictable hours, but it’s so easy and you are under no stress whatsoever. Here’s your job, see you whenever.


I’m having to ditch that 50 miler. I just don’t get the time to train. I’ve entered the Warrington half marathon again, which is on the same day, instead. Starting just outside my sister’s cafe this year.


Karate is progressing in fits and starts. The last two weeks I’ve been twice a week, but for a few weeks before that I only made it once a week.

They have caught on to my Tae Kwon Do tricks now. Sparring today I did a double kick, tuning kick first with the left then using the rebound force of the left leg, pivot straight into a right turning kick. I was landing that all the time as it’s obviously not something they do here. Today did it and he (black belt) must have read me, managed to catch my foot on the left kick but I was already committed to right kick, so slammed down hard, flat on my back. I’m going to have to learn to be more acrobatic. I totally wasn’t expecting that, but thinking about it, I could have pivoted the second kick whilst twisting around to put my hands down in a sort of sideways cartwheel. The golden moment where I had tricks they couldn’t anticipate is over though. Boo and hiss.


I’ve started German again. And I’ve found an award winning educational kids programme in German.


Sendung mit der Maus

Die Sendung mit der Maus  (The Programme with the Mouse.)

It’s good because it had educational bits (geezer talking about lighthouses) cartoons with the Mouse, then a short, repetitive, cartoon (about the lighthouse and the lighthouse keeper, which actually made me laugh).

Got to be worth a go.

I’ve also found a different tack to learning, an online tutorial site. The method I’m using (Michele Thomas) teaches you *how* to use the language, how to conjugate the verb, sentence structure etc. As he says, if you can work the verb the rest is just building vocabulary. The online thing though is an interactive learning thing where you listen to stuff then type in the answers. That is teaching you comprehension and spelling skills.

I always say this, but let’s see if I can stick to it. I’ve kept the karate up longer than my usual flash in the pan enthusiasm. I fully intend to grind that out to black belt. Let’s see if I can maintain the German. I’m not stupid (except for at maths, hands up, thick as a brick) it’s just I lose interest. If I’d have committed and stuck to my enthusiasms I’d be so talented by now. *sigh*


What else? Well, there’s the saviour of Socialism, Jeremy Corbyn. Not a lot to say except *SQUEEEEEEEEE!*

All my life things have been getting shitter, losing rights, services, benefits, this could be the turning point. The 1% had it nicely buttoned down, you had two flavours of tory to choose from. As someone recently tweeted me, “Two cheeks of the same arse.” The left was fragmenting into  TUSC (Trade Union and Socialist Coalition- old red Labour) Greens, and tory-lite Blairite New Labour.

Suddenly we have a mainstream Labour politician who was against the benefit cuts, wants to cut Trident (saving £100 billion) and states what we all know, that Austerity is a lie. (If they can afford to cut the tax bill of millionaires by £100k P/A they don’t need to introduce rape tests to see if you qualify for benefits for a third child.) He wants to renationalise the NHS, reintroduce student grants not loans, and renationalise the railways (which won’t cost the country a penny, they are issued on 5 year leases, let them run out, don’t renew, bingo, nationalised.)

Labour membership has hit a 64 year high with people signing up to vote for him.  It was, a week or so ago, 140,000 people that had joined. Every where he goes the halls are packed out. Leeds yesterday, 1,500 seater gig, standing room only. A few days ago he was supposed to be speaking in one room, it filled, as did the overflow room, so he ended up doing the speech again, on top of a fire engine with a loud hailer, to the hundreds outside who couldn’t get in. This is the shot that says it all for me, kids who couldn’t get in listening in at a window. Kids. Listening to politics.


Embedded image permalink

I tweeted, “Save us Obe Wan Corbyn, you are our only hope!”

Then we had this:

Strike him down & he will become more powerful than you could ever imagine

Embedded image permalink

In case you weren’t sure of what the MSM (MainStream Media) mean by ‘Far Left’

Embedded image permalink

Of course, Blair and his crew were seen to be supportive

Embedded image permalink

Which has brought me into the realm of Twitter. To carry on then;

DMreporter had:

DISGRACE: Fury as architect builds affordable housing for the HOMELESS instead of YOU who probably deserves it more.

REVEALED: How using an iPad for even a couple of minutes could make your toddler dependent on cocaine when they’re in their forties.

POLITICS:‘Labour risks being seen as left wing with a long history of trade union support if Jeremy Corbyn wins’ warns all other candidates.


TwopTwips noted:

CONVINCE people you’re Tony Blair by going back to where you used to work and telling everyone they are shit.

try shouting "don’t push your religion onto me barbara" when someone says "bless you" after you sneeze.


VeryBritishProblems had

Awful things to hear: 1. "Let’s order a bit of everything and share" 2. "Someone’s put a wet spoon in here" 3. "Ooh, late night?"

"Not to worry!" – Translation: You’ve ruined everything

"You know, I might just do that" – Translation: Nope

"I’ll see what I can do" – Translation: I’ve already forgotten your request


HolidayComplaints had:

"I went swimming in the sea and a fish touched my foot. Nobody warned me about the fish in the sea."

"The journey to Florida was far too long for our children and they didn’t enjoy the flight at all."

"Our London hotel didn’t have an ocean view."

"I fell asleep on the plane and missed the in-flight film which I was rather looking forward to."

"The beach didn’t have wifi."




To be fair to Tony Blair….ah no, sorry, there is no way I can fill that out to 140 characters

Tony Blair is worth £60m, and owns 10 houses. Remember that when considering his comments on Labour.

I listen to Blair and I feel totally depressed, and I speak as someone who has eaten in a Harvester

Problem with Blair’s advice is, you can only really take it if it’s 1994 and you’re Tony Blair

Embedded image permalink

Am working on a new version of Star Wars where the Jedi accept dark side reforms in order to appear like a viable alternative to Darth Vader

Call me a commie dreamer but I would prefer to vote for a Labour person who risked not getting in, than a Tory who could.

Jeremy Corbyn thinks it’s better for people to be educated than for billionaires to be richer. Stop this monster!

If Corbyn is so unelectable why don’t the Blairites STFU and let the party not elect him? If we choose to, then respect our decision.

Osborne reportedly ‘met Murdoch’ ahead of BBC cuts announcement




According to police notices, there are thieves "operating in this area". That can’t help the nerves of people awaiting surgery.

When your baby’s feet ruin a picture…

Embedded image permalink

HOW IS IT SUNDAY. In 5 minutes it will be Monday. In 6 years it will still be Monday. What even is time. This is bullshit.

Embedded image permalink

Embedded image permalink

Far be it from me to tell u yr job, Mr Balloon man, but YOU MIGHT WANT TO TURN ON YOUR BURNY THINGS "

Embedded image permalink

Cecil the Lion was killed by a rich American dentist: (black American reaction)

"If that lion hadn’t argued with the hunter, he’d probably still be alive."

I’m personally going to start wearing a lion costume when I leave my house so if I get shot, people will care.

If he did nothing wrong, why is he running? #lionslivesmatter #AllLionsMatter

Embedded image permalink

black man turns lion to not be shot by police #PawsUpDontShoot #CecilTheLion

Embedded image permalink


Q. How to make a small fortune out of horse racing. A. Start off with a big fortune!

This boy with cerebral palsy finishing his first triathlon could make grown men weep (Video) …

Napoleon said "England is a nation of shopkeepers", but I’ve just met a woman from Hull who’s an admin assistant. Talking out of his arse.

Every pack of Silica Gel I’ve ever seen says "DO NOT EAT", but this one doesn’t. God, it tastes terrible. Wait, it says it on the back.

Beautiful Triumph chop

Embedded image permalink

Embedded image permalink

Tomorrow is another day. So was yesterday. This keeps happening.

"When you’re dead you don’t know you’re dead. It’s just hard for those left behind. It’s the same thing when you’re stupid."

Women’s magazines: 20 pages "accept yourself" 40 pages "loose 30kgs in 4 weeks" And Cake recipes..

You know that bit in Watership Down where your dad starts crying & sends you to bed, then the next day he moves to Leeds without saying bye?

I want to go to bed, but my boss is forcing me to tweet about lions. "IT’S TOPICAL," he bellows at me over Skype. "PEOPLE LIKE TOPICS."

my heart goes out to any aspiring dystopian fiction authors who keep having their ideas stolen by the conservative party

Sorry, I can’t get excited about a picture of the queen, unless it’s on a £50 note.

she said yes :

Embedded image permalink

Is the Large Hadron Collider going to summon the Antichrist next month? …

Embedded image permalink

That fucking dentist has done it again.

Embedded image permalink

Someone keeps on putting up awkward anti-police posters outside Scotland Yard



Embedded image permalink

From today’s Daily Mail comments: ‘Tony Blair SACRIFICED his good looks GOD bless him to the STRESS of making Britain GREAT Britain again!’.

when you can’t choose between jihad or tweeting.

Embedded image permalink

"Abortion is a men’s issue…" Hahahahahahahahahaha (breathes) hahahahahahahahaha (falls on floor) hahahahahahahahaha (reads it again) ha!

Embedded image permalink

Eating the last pickled onion from a jar with a fork gives me an insight into just how shit I would have been at being a caveman.

#InternationalCatDay, from the people who brought you White History Month, Sun Rising in the East Week, and Air-Breathing Festival.

Embedded image permalink

Embedded image permalink

‘Chewbacca’ and ‘Luke Skywalker’ (Mark Hamill) on the set of Star Wars in 1977.

Embedded image permalink

Embedded image permalink

And on that note,