Decision Time.

I’ve got to commit to triathlon or quit.

I wanted to go faster this time, but that 2 month bug knocked spots off me. Then I was lazy. I didn’t do enough training. What I did wasn’t structured or consistent.

I had the Outlaw today, after which I was taking a year off from tri anyway, but now I’m not sure I want to carry on.

It was a bit of a disaster from start to finish, to be honest. I went down yesterday to register and rack my bike and stash my kit for today. That was OK, apart from the driving in torrential rain. Seriously reduced visibility from the rain and spray, wheels skipping on the huge puddles of standing water, want-to-live-forever morons doing 50 and 60 in the outside lane (of 4 in some places). There’s a lane for doing 50. It’s called the bus lane. In a bus.

Today I had to get up at 02.50 and drive to Nottingham. It was just as bad, but luckily very little traffic.

I was halfway across the A50 when I realised I’d forgotten the drinks for the bike leg. I had to pull in and buy some water. I got to the event later than planned, by the time I’d queued to get on to a distant car park I only had 15 minutes to get to the changing area and struggle into my wetsuit. They are designed to be clingy and are really hard to put on.

I was just outside the changing area when I realised I’d let my timing chip in the car. I had to sprint back and get it and sprint back to the changing area. The race started at 06.00. At 05.57 I was starting to put my wetsuit on. I got it on and sprinted out to the lake. They let me start but I was a minute behind everyone else before I got into the water.

I really thought I was going to batter the swim a bit this time. I thought I’d been making good progress with technique. Aided by the buoyancy of the wetsuit I thought I was going to fly. Nope. I was just weak and slow. My worst ever time. And I was hating it.

I got out of the late inside the cut-off only to be told “Take your time, there’s no rush, the bike leg has been cancelled.”

The battering rain had left parts of the course under a few inches of water. And a good chunk of it is on open roads. So loads of bikes, on skinny tyres, going flat out in monsoon rain, being close passed by cars. It was a recipe for fatalities.

Fair play to them. But it turned my tri into a splash about and a bit of a jog.

Then, inexplicably, they started all of us on the run individually! I was waiting 2 hours 43 minutes before I got going.

I was treating it like a stand alone marathon as there was no bike leg, but my legs didn’t believe me. My right tendon was pulling then the calf cramped. I kept running but it was really hard work. I did it in 3.57:33. Poor for a solo marathon, good for a tri marathon, but it was neither.

I think the swim, and then the waiting around, must have battered my legs.

I came out to the lake in position 906 (out of 900, possibly) by the end of the run I was position 489.

Anyway, the thing is that was too, too hard. And bad.

If I’m going to go back to tri I need to commit to disciplined, consistent training.  I don’t know if I can. I find it so hard to force myself to swim. And I don’t like road biking much better.

I’m really tired, and it’s been a long, painful and stressful day. I’m not committing either way right now, but quitting is definitely on the table.