Author: Buck

Skydiving is not for you. Trying again, with another agency. Since I got binned 5 weeks ago, I’ve had 2 days work (for the thrice damned Stobarts). One of the agencies, that was advertising “Warrington job, trunking to Scotland and Darn Sarf” (then tried to give me jobs 30 miles away) got back to me two weeks ago saying driving assessment for the job I applied for, the following week. On Friday I went for a ‘driving assessment’. It turned into a 4 hour hour induction, site walk, health and safety briefing, drugs and alcohol test, loads of paperwork and finally a drive, which I passed. It’s not in Warrington (only 10 or so miles away at Haydock) it wasn’t just a driving assessment, and it isn’t trunking, it’s store deliveries. So, nothing at all that they advertised. *sigh* I start tomorrow. There are hopeful signs. I googled it, someone had asked what they were like to work for and the reply was “my mate works for them, cards in, and he says he’s there for life.” As I’ve previously noted, all drivers do is whinge, so that’s hopeful. Also it’s delivering to Cash and Carry’s, so it’s not going to be poxy little high street shops. And it’s fully unionised, which is a nice novelty these days. I noticed on the daily sheet for full time drivers they have a box for double time and triple time, also the sixth day working is paid at time and three quarters! That is shockingly good. And the agency asked me when I wanted to work, said ideally Mon-Fri 05.00-06.00 hrs start, they asked if a 06.00-10.00 window was OK, not a problem. I start at 07.15 tomorrow. That’s promising. We’ll see tomorrow.  If I don’t love it, the other agency still haven’t got back to me about the Sainsburys induction, I could try that when it comes up. It is directly across the road from this job.   In other news the plaster has been round to mend the hole in the ceiling caused by the flood. Which meant we had to decorate. I’d forgotten what a time consuming pain in the arse that job is. It took two days to paint the kitchen, toilet and adjoining space. And all the doors, which showed up as yellowing when I started doing the skirting boards. Then the wooden blinds looked minging so the third day I had to get a new roller blind, which took 3 trips to the shop. Defective crap. Now we need to replace the lino. It’s not dear but it is going to be a total ballache to fit. That was not all the painting we did. Stupid bloody cat had to get in on the action. Now she lives in fear of serial rapist French skunk, Pepe LePew.   In other news, I was at my Karate class on Friday when the main sensei (instructor/ master) asked to see how I was getting on. Told me to […]

As I’m unemployed I went racing after a bunch of jobs. Turns out it was the same old agency bollocks. One of the jobs, which would have been ideal (06.00 start, Mon-Fri!) sounded too good to be true. It was. I rang the mobile number they gave every day for a week, straight to voicemail. I emailed a CV, ignored. I’ve heard of the Jobcentre posting fake jobs so they can sanction people for not getting them, I guess that was one of them. Another agency was advertising long term contracts in Warrington and Widnes. I jumped through a million hoops to get on their books, they offered me the odd day 30+ miles away. Couldn’t be bothered. Another agency I signed with were offering day shift Full Time Equivalent (FTE) jobs doing supermarket deliveries. They have the contract for Sainsbury’s and  Tesco’s. They were waiting for an induction day at Sainsbury’s so they asked would I do ‘days’ at Tesco’s. Day’s being midnight to 04.00 start. Usually about 02.00. That’s nights in my book. And Stobarts have the contract for Tesco’s. I asked straight away what sort of shift length it was. They said about 10 hours. I’ve worked for Stobarts before and they wanted 12+, up to 15 and running out of hours so having to sleep in my cab. I gave it a go. 02.30 start first day, 11.30 hours shift. Second day, 02.15 start, finished my run after 8.30 hours, they said to wait while they sorted me out a second run, nearly 14 hours. Screw that. You’ve literally only got time to work and try to sleep, nothing else. 10 hours my arse! I told the agency not to send me back. So that’s been it. 2 day’s work in 3 weeks. The Sainsbury’s induction was supposed to be “in 2 weeks” which would have been this weekend. No sign. But that is a FTE job, and while I was at the agency I overheard a driver saying to them that he loved it there. That is something to behold. Drivers are known for whinging about everything and calling ever job shit. If I can get into a decent FTE job I’d be happy. Whilst I was chasing up contacts for my CV (the up to date one having been wiped when I killed the computer, *sigh*) I noticed that the agency that ran the Walkers Crisps contract were recruiting again, but days! A world of win! That was my best job to date. I rang up and asked about it, roughly how many shifts they thought I’d be able to get a week (I left because of scarcity of work and hating night shift) but they wouldn’t commit to any shifts and said it was mainly just weekends on days. I would do it, but I don’t want to go through the day long induction and assessment if I’m only going to get a few days and be leaving again as soon as I […]

Things are weird at the minute. I’m on the new shift pattern, three core days, flex up (optional working if there’s any work going) on two other days, with two days off. Which is my shift pattern if they have taken me on to the books. But I’ve not had an interview (formality), signed a contract, or been given uniform. Also the agency texted me this week. The amount of involvement the agency have they probably don’t know either. I’ve started doing store deliveries now. The first day they gave me the keys, new paperwork, and basically left me to it. And it was a rigid. Straight away you know it’s going to be tricky, if the store had half decent access they would send a proper artic. Then, as I’d never driven these rigids before, I had to work out how to use the tail lift. It’s the same as on the artics, but instead of a separate power lead they are obviously already wired up. The bastard things have an isolator switch in the cab that I couldn’t find. And you have to remove the keys before it will operate. And I was having issues with the scanner/ terminal thing. So that was a great start. The store loading area was inside a multi storey car park which I drove straight past looking for the store. It was a a bit of a nightmare as they are timed deliveries, if you miss the window it sets of a chain reaction of arse kicking up and down the chain of command. I scraped into my two time slots. Today was my second go at stores, in an artic. Loads less stress. Last week, my first on my new hours, I only got my three core days. This week, now they know what my hours are, they’ve already asked me to work today (flex up) and tomorrow (day off) on top of my 3 core days. It seems the work is there for the taking.   My stretching, after my initial, wildly optimistic pulled–from-the-hat guess of a month to attain side splits, is now progressing slowly, with massive pain, but surely.  After my first go I didn’t really get any further for a week or so. I’ve now come up with an improved system. I’ve rigged up a restraining stirrup for my less stretchy leg then just force the other one down to a level. I’ve been trying to get Wendy to help but due the amount of pain it puts me through she’s not much use. I’ve made pretty good gains the last two days. And held the stretch for full minute holds (as opposed to the recommended 30 seconds.) I’m not sure if the pain is getting any more bearable or if I’m getting better at accepting it. Either way I’ve been able to reach maximum stretch then increase it the last two days. I’m thinking of improvising a pulley system to drag my feet down. That way […]

We were happily watching The Matrix on Sunday night, Neo was in mid tussle with Agent Smith in the subway, when Wendy went into the kitchen. She heard a running water sound. I looked outside, no rain, I went upstairs nothing running, nothing leaking. Went back down. Suddenly water started pissing down the kitchen windows, from the inside, then pouring out of the overhead light socket. Not good. I ran around in a flap, finding and turning off stopcocks. Two under the sink, four in the airing cupboard. By this time Wendy was on the ‘phone to our landlords and screeching hysterically “IT’S COMING OUT OF THE LIGHT!” We don’t have a mop and bucket so I set to with the improvise, adapt and overcome. I put a bunch of towels on the floor to stop the water from flooding into the front room. Wendy’s brother, Peter and his father in law, Terry laid that wooden floor, I’d be screwed trying to do it, so that was my first concern. Then it was a case of soaking a towel and wringing it out outside the back door. So much hassle. Eventually it stopped draining out and I thought we’d won. The plumber came around about 01.00, and looked at the ceiling. He noticed it was bulging in a bit so started stabbing it with his screwdriver. This is what plumbers do, apparently. Which was fun. But it just kept on pouring. In the end he was worried if he left it the ceiling was going to collapse so he cut an exploratory hole. That grey thing in the hole is plastic pipes. Unlike copper pipes the bastards shake loose, it would appear. He identified the culprit pipe, isolated the water to the heating (of which it was a part) and buggered off. We had no heating. Again. The heating guy turned up the next day by a minor miracle (and Wendy badgering everyone on the ‘phone). We thought it was going to be  “Common fault. Not got that part, I’ll order it, see you in a week.” Again. Turns out it wasn’t even broke, just the pipe had shaken completely free. He tightened it up, job’s a good ‘un. Bastard. The plumber could have done that. “We do the plumbing, heating is someone else” or told me it wasn’t broken, I’d have tightened it. Anyway, that aside, it’s been dealt with promptly and quite efficiently this time. Now we have to wait for a plasterer to come and fix the ceiling. No biggie.   I’ve been beasting myself on the stretching exercises. The real downer is you have to do them every day or you are back to square one, they say. So even on meh days you have to stretch off with warm up exercises then torture yourself. If I ever get there, to side and front splits, I am never letting it go. I’ve pencilled my current maximum stretch on the wall. It is depressingly high up. Long, […]

After them telling me there was no work for me this week, and me therefore being all responsible and frugal and shit so not going to extra Karate classes on my days off, they called me in today, (Thursday) so that’s 2 shifts. They want me to go in tomorrow to do my store training then do a run for them. 3 shifts. Possibly do a shift on Saturday. 4 Shifts. The trainer guy saw me today and said they usually have a lull of about 3 weeks, then the new season stock starts kicking in and they pick up again.  Also, from tomorrow I’ll be store trained so that adds loads of extra work that I can do. The other driver who started the same time as me, but has somehow managed to get himself signed off as store trained, was on for 6 shifts this week! The long and short of which being, I can hang in here and wait for a proper job, I don’t have to go back to the thrice damned Hermes. Possibly still make some fairly good money while I’m waiting. 3 shifts a week would be enough to see us comfortably through. And if the lull is as short as the trainer said, I would be willing to take one for the team and put my feet up. I’m a giver. The downside for this week being that I didn’t go to extra Karate lessons, now I can’t make Friday’s and it’s doubtful I’ll get to Saturday’s. A week’s training wasted. Still, money is money. I can’t say no. And I’m off Sunday for sure, so I can go to that lesson and pick up my gi, gloves and training mitts. There will be pics. If I can get my girth into a single frame. So, as you were. Buck. PS, just found out how to nick GIF’s. This is hilarious.