I ended my last blog by saying that I was going to get help for my bike addiction. It wasn’t a joke. Before I’d even collected my latest bike I wanted to get back to window shopping motorbikes. I love looking at them, weighing the pros and cons, and generally enjoying the thrill of the chase. The trouble is, while 98% of them I can dismiss as ugly, meh, too dear, etc, etc, there is a consistent 2% that pop up and are ridiculously good bargains. I know I’m not going to see that bike for that price again. Then I have to try and hold out and prevaricate for the few days until it sells. Or, like the CB550/Four, I will end up buying it. The only way to avoid the trap is to not look. But when I’m bored I love to look.
For a long time it was a joy for me to be able to buy all the bikes I’ve always wanted but couldn’t afford, but this latest purchase, while it is a bargain, and a lovely bike, was done with regret. I felt bad that I’d given in to a symptom of my condition. If I’m too self aware to enjoy the buzz of the acquisition of new bikes, it’s time to quit.
Since arranging to buy this bike I’ve shut the search pages I had open. I am genuinely tired of the cycle. I’ve also found a free online BPD course. It’s called a Dialectical Behavior Therapy. It seems to be about mindfulness and being in the moment. I can only try.
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