Ups and downs.

Wendy is on the mend! Yay! She had her operation but had unrealistic expectations of how minor it was going to be. The operation itself was around 4 hours long, the woman preceding her took 45 minutes, so it mustn’t have been plain sailing. Then they have to fill you full of gas to inflate the guts so they can make room to move about. Her guts were sticking out a bit and she’d put on 8lbs. Devastated. Then her wounds were a bit manky. Started having green puss and puking up and such. I told her I’d had worse and to stop being a mardarse. She went to the doctors and they said it was “infected” and she needed “antibiotics”. Pah, nanny state. Doctors, what do they know?

Anyway after that she soon started getting better. She’s on her feet now, did the shopping with me today and went to church. Her stomach was hurting a bit afterwards, but not crippling her like last week. She reckons she should be able to go back to work a week on Monday.

This is good as last week I only got two days work.

The two weeks prior I had two good weeks, a four day (with the Bank Holiday, 3 days at £17.52 p/h) and a 5 day. £600 a week take home. Then this. This is the exception, but it’s not good.  I am torn. Is it better to try for a regular job that won’t pay as much (even for a 60 hour week) but will be every week, and have holiday pay?

I’ve seen two jobs advertising for full time drivers lately. Neither particularly good jobs, with only OK money (compared to my current pay rate) but it’s the guaranteed hours that appeal. And a better start time. Long term, if I could get a full time job where I am, this is the job for me. I’ll have to wait and see how much work I get.


In other news, my masterplan to get my fitness back is working. I bought new boots for work, new supportive trainers for running, ran every third day to give my legs time to recover and ran off road to stop the stress injuries. It’s all worked swimmingly. By which I mean my legs are still working.

That was two weeks, now I’m trying to move it to running every other day for a few weeks. After that I’m back on for operation #10milesaday.

It’s not all been good. I’ve been wearing a hat to try to heat condition myself. I hate the heat when running, totally kills me. So the sunny weather of late, with a hat, have been tough. Also my fitness is shagged and I’m a porker. The long and short of which being I’ve been struggling on some days just to keep going for 10 miles.

Yesterday it was pissing it down, but it was a run day so I just donned a long sleeve top and set out. I’d forgotten the sun shines on the righteous, by the end of a mile it had stopped raining and I was dying from the heat again. *sigh*

As it was so sodden I did the 10 miles on my road course. Tougher for jarring on the legs (I could feel that pulling down the side of my shin again) but faster. By the sixth mile I realised I was still going faster than my first mile pace off road. And I had more in the tank. I pushed on a bit and did the last 4 miles at 7.45 (ish) m/m pace. That was stunning. By my shockingly bad recent standards. I’ve been dropping below 9m/m and only stubbornness has kept me going at all. As I say, it was my road course, which is apparently faster, but I knocked 15 minutes off my last run!

Not the same thing, but I don’t care, I’m taking it.

I’m looking forward to tomorrow’s run now. Going to smash it.

It’s sad that I should be so pleased with a 7.59 m/m pace over 10 miles. 8 m/m used to be my plodding pace, the one to which I reverted when I was too knackered to keep up a good pace or was going long. Still, I am where I am, and that is a good time for me at the moment.


Enough of my witterings, on to the whacky world of Twitter.

The DMreporter kicks us off as usual:

ALL GROWN UP: Teenage starlet flaunts her ample cleavage in sexy long lens beach snaps. More on this story as she develops.

HEALTH: Useless, lazy, privileged, morally bankrupt, lying idiot Chris Patten resigns as chairman of BBC Trust. We wish him well,

SCANDAL: “Lego has been halal since 2003” admits beleaguered toy company.

SCANDAL: Is your dishwasher halal? How about your curtains? Maybe the garage? We sensationally reveal the secret Muslim items in YOUR home.

HEALTH: Muslim couple spotted praying near Ladybower reservoir “may have accidentally turned Yorkshire’s water supply halal” warn experts.

RICHARD AND JUDY’S SUICIDE CLUB: Channel 4 to broadcast couple’s grizzly final act for one-off special.

EXPOSED: How the Post Office has forms that can help immigrants claim benefits, get a replacement drivers licence or apply for a mortgage.

POLITICS: Jimmy Savile, Max Clifford and Stuart Hall all famously voted Labour. We ask – ‘are all Labour supporters paedo nonce scum?’



Then the boo-hiss world of Politics/ Tory scum (now with added UKIP, as brought to you by the BBC):

Maybe UKIP wouldn’t be so eager to turn the clock back if they knew that the past is a foreign country.

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Don’t vote UKIP. Make the same political statement more powerfully by dressing as a lobster and defiantly nailing your head to the floor.

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Driver fatigue warnings updated after Nigel Farage blames his comments about Romanians on tiredness

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I can’t believe the Tories are ahead in the polls. It would take the Beeb consistently failing to mention the NHS privatisation or something

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KIP up 80. Fascist knee jerk racists up 80 seats? Where did they get the votes? Tories down 77 seats. Utter coincidence.

Looks like the only place where UKIP have managed to take overall control is the BBC #Vote2014

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Just to recap, the demoralised, demolished, annihilated Lib Dems have ten times as many council seats in London as surging, robust UKIP

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And my favest, General:

My cat is sad at the way the monarchy has been subsumed into British celebrity culture

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Shrimp is referred to as an abomination 4times more than homosexuality in the bible…

I had to do real life….I saw things twitter…TERRIBLE THINGS!! I have children..who knew?

This is why I don’t like Bear Grylls. Poor koalas.

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For anyone who thinks cats don’t have a natural instinct for irony.

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That awkward moment between birth and death.

I said "shit" and Tallis said "Only people over 18 are allowed to use that word. How old are you?" Bless his tiny fascist heart.

I like my women like I like my coffee: completely ignoring me while I make ridiculous analogies.

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Had a bit of a laugh with some feminist chums after I posted them this with the message “That’s yous told”

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Oh it’s such a hard life for the man lion trying to keep his lady !

Me: It’s my new philosophy: you’re grafting in case I need to fight a lion.

Incurablehippie: You do realise, though, that if a lion arrives you’re fucked?

Me:A slight flaw in my master plan. Remind me not to move to Africa.

Inc: Or any closer to a safari park.

Lorriehearts: Knowsley tweet-up, anyone?

Inc: It’s many, many years since I’ve been to Knowsley Safari Park. I’m in.

Lor: If the lions don’t have him, the baboons will. Big buggers, them.

Inc: You in, Bucky? Twitter trip to see the lions? I mean… wildlife.

Me: Bring them on! *gonna need a bigger gun*

Inc :And we won’t insult your masculinity by doing anything to help ourselves

Lor: I’m gonna drape myself in lamb chops just to underline the point.


I expect the Sun and Daily Mail will be attacking Kosher meat any second… Any second…. Oh. Just Islam then?

Hmm 666 6+6+6=18 18…. Obama was once 18… Very scary not sure what this information means brought to you by Fox News.

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1: Connect sewing machine to polygraph test 2: Lie repeatedly 3: Describe new jumper as a fabric of lies 4: Laugh forever

The war in #Afghanistan has cost the British tax[payer about £40,000,000,000 plus nearly 500 deaths…..and all for….er….?

Well, it’s got the opium trade back on it’s feet, turned a generation into UK/US haters *and* empowered murderous warlords. #ftw

David Lunts, GLA ‘The amount spent on housing benefit since 2000 would have funded 1,000,000 new social homes’

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I’m sorry to hear that homosexuality makes some older Ukip voters uncomfortable. Maybe they should try a lubricant.

I don’t like morning people. Or mornings. Or people.

American dude on news "America currently has troops deployed in 100 countries." What empire?

The word "potato" is the only word that starts with "p" and ends with "otato"

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"Just whenever you get a minute" – Translation: "Now"

Things I learned in retail. Always say "Sorry for keeping you waiting", never "Sorry about your wait."

"Ted didn’t often discuss menstruation but when he did, he made sure women knew how they were doing it wrong." …

Disgraced former police chief gets criminal sentencing delayed for ~7 years to make sure he gets pension #PoliceWeek

SAVE valuable seconds by pre-rolling your eyes whenever you read the words “A UKIP spokesman/candidate/councillor said…”

We should change name from "Benefits" to "Essential Support System" maybe then people will understand what/why we have & why people need it

Since 1945 the US has tried to oust more than 50 governments. The Pentagon runs "special operations” in 124 countries

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As a modern gal on the go, I have a hard time making personal medical choices. That’s why I vote for old white men to do that for me!

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I have long wondered why ‘Owen Jones’ isn’t invited on to "Have I Got News for You?" With his famed sense of humour and ready sense of fun.

A glorious day. Limitless hope and potential. "I will do great things, today" you say as you approach the tube station. Good luck with that.

I deserve a MUCH greater sense of entitlement than the one I actually have.

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Debating whether to open the bus window or just quietly succumb to heatstroke

How Women Should Dress For Their Jobs, According To Stock Photos

Bloody foreigners, coming over here wanting to know what love is

Can we stop calling it “the end of entitlement” and call it out for what it is? “The removal of rights”.

angry Romanians with banners denouncing UKIP as Nazis. steel band refusing to play cos of UKIP connection. BIG UP YER CHEST CROYDON MASSIVE.

BIRDS. Stand closer together at dawn. That way you won’t have to fucking shout.

#SeaWorld is so shmaltzy it makes me wanna kick a dolphin.

The Birth Of Eurasia – Russia & China Do Pipelineistan

(Forgot to say, coat finally sorted)

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Looks better in the flesh.

#WhyImVotingUkip Its about time we sent the Librarians back to Libraria. You try to speak english to them and its all "Shhhh!"

I saw some dishwashing soap that claimed to kill 99% of bacteria. Now take out bacteria and put in white people. UNACCEPTABLE! #thinkaboutit

#WhyImVotingUKIP – because England should be for the English, like the Royal Family and Mrs Farage. #ohwaittheyreGerman

There’s a party in my pants… Unfortunately it’s UKIP.

The bible is 100% accurate. Especially when thrown at close range

Please note that if you’ve worked all your life and have recently been made redundant, you are still classed as a lazy scrounger.

#WhyImVotingUkip because Sanjay down the corner shop is charging 25p for Space Raiders when I know they’re only 10p. Robbing bastard

I will never get over the fact that Antarctica is round but only has a north coast.

8 Brilliant Test Answers From Smartass Kids:

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Yet another unrealistic standard of beauty for women.

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This lizard looks like he’s just hatched a plan to take over the world

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75 year old chap turns 150ft hedge into this:


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Right, I’m off.