Author: Buck

My biking obsession is driving Wendy to despair. But I’m sure she’s sharing my joy, really. Deep down inside. Well hidden. Behind a smokescreen of rage. Anyway. I got that TL1000S after the Motorcycle News (MCN) review that basically said it will scare the shit out of you and try to throw you into the scenery.  Guess what? It scared the shit out of me and tried to throw me into the scenery. Oddly it’s not as much fun as it sounds. It was just an awesome, full-on, loony machine. There was no ‘potter around’ setting. You were either committed or parked. It still sounds fun. In real life that’s great for dry, straight roads, terrifying in the wet at roundabouts.  It’s probably just me, never having had a race bike before, but it was just too much. Being a V twin 1000cc the power didn’t build with the revs it just kicked you in the arse as soon as you touched the throttle. I couldn’t feed it in. I was in two minds about it. I’ll never own a bike that awesome again, but if it’s that bad in summer, imagine riding it to work through winter? I was on riding on eggshells as it was. The tickover problem decided me. The (£60 p/h!) Suzuki specialist mechanics said it would need an engine strip to find the problem, possibly thousands of pounds. I sold it. I was going to sell my CB750 as well. Put it through the MOT before the insurance runs out on the 21st, and it failed. Of course it did. Back brake disc worn, pads buggered. Also advisory on chain. I remain in a state of flux over bikes, so I pulled the ebay listing, ordered the disc, (already had some pads) and chain and sprocket set and was going to keep it. I’m finishing off fitting it today when the rain stops. Then I came across an MCN review of the Honda VFR750 from the 90’s.  “For many, bike journalists included, the best road bike ever built.” Whoa! MCN don’t mince their words. (My favourite being a review of a supersports bike “Goes like buggery. Just as uncomfortable.”) That is a breathtakingly audacious statement. Apparently Mr Honda had the idea that a V4 engine was the future, rolled out the first generation of bikes, but they were flawed, “chocolate cams”, cams kept buggering up. So it was either scrap the whole V4 concept and accept brand humiliation or redesign it as the most wonderfully over-engineered, bullet-proof, benchmark legend ever to be built. Honda. Obviously they redeemed themselves. MCN: “A Honda PR man once (fairly) famously joked that “I don’t care how much a VFR costs, it’s worth three times as much.” He’s not far wrong.”  “For a Japanese superbike, the VFR is about as good as it gets. Build quality is sublime, reliability… is total. Don’t let high mileages put you off: VFR head over 75,000 with impunity…” So then I *had* to have […]

I know, another boring bike entry. I want to share the joy and terror that is my new beast. I’ve de-badged it since that picture. Took off all the stupid ‘Relentless’ stickers and such. It looked like a boy racer’s Subaru. Seems you heat them with a hair dryer which melts the glue and they peel off, then use GooGone to wipe away the residual glue. Gawd bless the internet. There is still a problem with tickover. I’ve tracked down and joined a TL owner’s group, TLWorld, and found it’s usually down to to the Throttle Position Sensor (TPS) needing adjustment and the the air mixture in the cylinders need balancing. Something about throttle bodies, I think. The TPS thing is what it says, something that senses where the throttle is and tells the computer to throw petrol at the engine. It doesn’t look too big a job, but you have to strip all the fairing off. If I’m doing that I may as well service it as well, so I’ve got plugs, oil filter, air filter, and all the gaskets to the exhaust (which is still too loud, I’ve ordered some –second hand- genuine Suzuki TL1000s end cans as a last ditch attempt to quiet it down). I’ll service it, replace the exhaust gaskets, fit the standard end cans, adjust the tickover, set the TPS and balance the throttle bodies (or whatever that bit is called.) If it’s still cutting out then I’m taking it to the professionals. It’s a hazard to shipping at the moment. I was sat between the cars at the lights, revving up a massively loud bike like a boy racer just to keep it from dying, then I let the clutch out and it stalled. In my embarrassment I hit the starter, grabbed a hand full of revs and dumped the clutch, all in one motion. Wheelied away between the traffic. So not good. Another bracing moment was heading over Kingsway bridge. I shot up behind a car, which then put it’s indicator on and braked towards the pavement. Whatever. I swerved past it, accelerating. Police car in the middle of the road heading straight for me! Oops. Hit the brakes and the back end swung right out. The brakes are fierce! In a split second it slewed so far round I thought I was getting spat off. I lifted and straightened up just before, but my arse gave an almighty twitch, I can tell you.   As I say, I’ve joined TLWorld. It’s the first owner’s group I’ve seen that host a list of “Fallen Members.” Pretty sure my last Japanese sports machine club, the Micra owner’s group, didn’t have a list of the glorious dead. I’m going to leave instructions so I can be added should my luck run out. It is such a beast. With the low speed problem at the moment, especially, she’s just screaming “MORE! MORE! RIDE ME, YOU PUSSY!”  the whole time. It’s a six speed box, easily […]

I forgot to say in my last post that my TL1000S has had the rear shock upgraded. That was the problem, apparently. Squirrelly back end, ECU dumping way too much power all at once, and tank slappy front end. I don’t know about the ECU but I doubt I’ll be testing the limits of the bikes performance any time soon. The front end did feel light, but if it scares me I have the steering damper. I can fit that. I saw an advert for one in Dorset, completely original. 6,000 miles on the clock, one owner for the last 20 years, original rear shock, mad ECU, no steering damper. I was tempted by the 6k, one owner, but thought it wouldn’t be worth buying a barely used bike if I was going to put it into a ditch before I got it home. So, my TL is quite the responsible choice. Go me! Once I’ve sorted the niggles. The new, “road legal” exhaust silencers arrived today. Yay for quickness and relative cheapness! I got them out of the box, looked down them, can see clean through. It’s just a pipe running down the middle with a slight bend at the end. They are slightly less deafening than the ones I want to replace. Super. I was having some major issues with that. I emailed the seller to see if they do any additional, actual working, baffles to kill the noise. While I was waiting I was back on ebay. My only other option seemed to be second hand original silencers. If that was still too loud, sell the bike. The seller got back to me. He’s said if I send him the baffles (baffles! My arse! It’s a slightly bent pipe that fits in the end of the can) he’ll modify them to quieten the pipes. For free. Really nice of him. I’m sending them off tomorrow, it’s worth a shot. God, I really hope that works. I need a bike I can ride. If not, second hand end cans, then … Also the number plate light is out. It’s not the bulb (LED’s) so I’m going to try to track down the fuse box (really well hidden), failing that, off to the mechanic. I panic in the face of electrical problems. If I can sort the noise and the electrical problem, put a jubilee clip on the air intake manifolds to stop them slipping off, and swap my mirrors when the new ones come, I’ve got a shit hot bike. Also I want to spend some time stripping of all the cheap “racing” stickers from the bike. But that’s just cosmetic. I can’t wait for it to be fully sorted. It’s an awesome bike to ride. I think as soon as the TL is 100% I’ll be selling the Honda CB750. It’s a sterling workhorse, but I can’t see me ever walking past the Widow-Maker to ride it. Right, just had to vent. Later, Buck.

It’s taken me many, many years of wrongheadedness but I finally understand. All my life I’ve gone for bikes that look pretty; naked, air-cooled, poser chic. Today was my first proper ride out on the Widow-Maker. Plastic fairings hiding an ugly, water-cooled (admittedly awesome) V twin engine. Took her for a spin up to the Lake District, learning about the pains of sports bike riding on the way. My wrists! You seem to be supporting your whole, chunky-monkey, body weight on your wrists. I took the pressure off by supporting more of my weight with my back. Which then hurt my back like a bastard. Also, some fool has fitted this beast with hideously loud exhausts. My ears were ringing afterwards, even though I was wearing ear protectors the whole time. As soon as I got it home on Saturday I ordered some road legal end cans. Poor neighbours! So there’s the pain and the noise. Then I pulled off the motorway onto the twisty A roads of Cumbria. Oh. My. God! I’ve wrestled bikes around bends before now. Often. And some had some poke. Forget it. No comparison. She flicks from left to right through the bends effortlessly. Think about acceleration and you’re already there. Get nervous and the brakes have you. They could stop my truck, I think. The only thing is it’s ridiculously overpowered! I was doing 70mph (on the motorway!), thought it was a bit rev-y, (though only halfway to redline) so I tried changing up. I had two more gears! Also, even with my tenuous cornering, I could feel the front end getting light. Some good news about the end cans I was forced to buy to quieten the beast down. With my failing reading vision, squinting at my ‘phone, I thought it said stainless steel end cans, £244 for a pair, titanium, £249. For the sake of a fiver I ordered the snazzier ones. I looked again, on the PC, and it was £294.Bugger. Still a steal for what it is, but it’s purely to make it useable, I’m not *that* arsed how it looks. I emailed the seller (of both sets) on ebay and asked would it be possible to change my mind and get the cheaper ones. He consented and refunded me £81. Huh? Yep, seems he had a special deal on! Brilliant. There are a few niggles with the bike, very minor. One embarrassing one was it kept cutting out on tickover. The revs would drop below 1,000 and it would die. I was worried I’d bought a dud, but I googled it and the tickover is supposed to be 1,250 rpm. Found the knob, sorted it. That was after today’s ride. During the ride at every set of lights (or whatever) I was having to rev a stupidly loud bike like an idiot boy racer. I felt a right twat. Road legal end cans with the sorted tickover should cure that. There are a few other things. The right hand […]

I know, right? Immediate interest. I have had a moment of epiphany. All my life I’ve judged bikes by their aesthetics. How they look and sound. Over the last month or so I’ve completely changed my criteria. What about a bike that does bike things? Goes like stink, brakes, leans right over in corners? I was looking at the Suzuki SV650. It’s not pretty. It’s a 650cc V twin, so it has lots of torque and grunt. It’s water cooled and fuel injected so no messing about. And the best thing about the ugliness is, it’s occurred to me that while you are doing the death-or-glory business, you’ll never know what it looks like! Also, being a V twin, just by changing over the exhaust you get a glorious sound. https://youtu.be/x75_q8qjvmo I was all set on getting rid of my bikes and buying one of these. They are quite old now, and were budget to start with, so you can get a good one for £1,800. Then I stumbled across a review saying the standard dismissal of them as scaled down TL1000S’ wasn’t entirely true. Really? What’s a Tl1000S? This: OK, it’s got a bikini (half) fairing. And it remains ugly. But with added plastic ugliness. But what does it do? Here is someone opening one up. Don’t worry it wont take up many seconds of your life. https://youtu.be/5183T5TX1po That’s actually the TL1000R, the sanitised and sanity-ised version of the TL1000S. But you get the picture. I was reading up on the original, TL1000S, beast, Suzuki’s snub of the Ducati V Twin sports bikes, on Motorcycle News: “The Suzuki TL1000S is a motorcycle which has become the Freddie Kreuger of biking.” “will always retain the ability to scare the pants off you occasionally.” “The rear end starts moving, plus the front end of the TL1000S is liable to flap about as the sheer grunt lifts the front wheel. Result; one scared rider, and possible excursions into the scenery.” “barnstorming motor, even today, with 125bhp ready to kick your arse within two seconds of opening the throttle fully.”   Obviously this all sounds like a hoot. But I discounted it as they said the insurance was group 16 out of 17. Just so I could say “You’ll never believe what they wanted for insurance!” I did a mock quote. £155 p/a, fully comp, parked on the road. WHAT? The bikes are only £200 dearer than the SV650, the insurance is £20 more, and they are ridiculously scary fun. It’s a no-brainer. Apparently when they first came out they immediately gained a reputation for tankslapper crashes and one person died.Supposedly they sorted that out with steering dampers and better mapping of the fuel injection But they are still referred to as Widow Makers. In fact, you can google “V twin widow maker” if you forget the bike’s name. The bright side being, they are cheap as chips to buy! And possibly not as lethal as reputed. Possibly. More on that story later. […]